Demi thought about the night she left often. She thought about the days leading up to it, the crying that she did on the bathroom floor, and the note that she wrote Jesse before she left. She thought about it all. Demi never wanted to leave but she felt as though it was what she had to do to give Jesse and Luna a better life.
Growing up Demi's mother, Diana, always told her; "If you love something, set it free. And if it comes back, then it's meant to be." It was a quote that she never thought would apply to motherhood. What made her think otherwise was when she was crying in her mother's arms because she knew she could never be the mother Luna deserved, then Diana said, "You're not a bad parent because you don't love her enough, you're a bad parent because you don't love yourself." That was when Demi lost it.
Demi thought that she was hiding it well. She would never cry in front of other people— not even Jesse. She'd wait until the day was over and let it out in the shower. Some days would be more painful than others but it was never easy. Every day was a battle with herself. She woke up and had to decide if she was going to let her demons take over her.
It wasn't until that moment that Demi realized, her depression was clear as day and she wasn't fighting hard enough. She was still recovering from the eating disorder that had been eating her alive since she was 13 and recently came back after she gave birth. It came back bigger and stronger, making it harder for her to fight it off.
A part of her felt like Jesse knew she would leave eventually. As time went on, Demi grew more distant from his love and affection, which Jesse didn't respond to kindly. He was confused and angry with Demi because she wouldn't communicate her feelings with him. It made him feel like he was doing something wrong when he was doing everything right. Jesse took notice of how she began spending less time with Luna and when he asked her about it she would deny his claims and then spend quality time with her daughter to make him look like he was making things up. Demi hated hurting the people she loved most, but it was only to make it easier for when she left.
Something that Diana had failed to mention was the part when they come back. Demi had no idea how to convince Jesse to let her into their life again. There was no way past the pent-up anger and sadness that he had from the past ten years and now she had to deal with the repercussions.
The most painful part was, Demi found herself still having emotions towards Jesse from all those years ago. The love between them never left and she could feel it from Jesse too. The soft spot that he had for her was still there— deep, deep down. She just had to find a way to dig it out of him.
~
"You need to file a restraining order." Jesse's mother, Johanna, stated. He sat across from her in the living room of his mother's townhouse. Re-runs of Judge Judy played on the TV as they waited for Luna to come home from school. Jesse rolled his eyes and fell further back onto the ivory couch.
He gave his mom the rundown of his new job and how it came to be and she was already trying to contact her lawyer to keep her son away from Demi. Johanna used to love Demi. She would welcome her into their family as if she was her daughter, but after she abandoned her son and her grandchild, Demi was the first person on her kill list.
"A restraining order isn't necessary, Mom." Jesse bluntly stated as he watched the middle-aged woman on the television nearly cuss out the young woman in front of her.
"First she came to your place of work..."
"By coincidence," Jesse thought to himself but knew better than to not interrupt a woman, especially his mother.
