Klance Oneshots-Don't Forget Me

25-Fuck It.

WARNING: Mentions of past Suicide attempt/Self Harm, Mention of relapse, and description of a panic attack(this is simply what i've experienced, panic attacks are different for us all)

-Keith's POV-

"FUCK THIS!" I scream as I slam my backpack into the pool, watching the contents spill out with a punctuated "splooashhh!".

"Keith, bro, calm down."

"NO Shiro! Everyone ALWAYS WANTS ME TO CHANGE. IM NOT CALM, IM NOT TRYING TO LOOK PRETTY, JUST LET ME BE! I-I can't keep doing this!!" 

My breath staggers, as if my lungs are being encased by my ribs for the first time yet-I also feel the most free I've ever felt. The worst part, I don't cry. All I want to do is sob my sour face into the pavement, but all I can do is scream. I can't cry. 

"Fuck YOU!"

"FUCK LIFE!"

"FUCK CONSEQUENCES!"

"FUCK SANITY!"

"FUCK LOVE!"

"FUCK L-"

"KEITH!" Shiro firmly shouts, cutting me off "Take a deep breath."

I freeze and balance myself with my hands on my knees. My face is wet and flaky with sweat; as I'm panting as if my lungs are stuck in a drought. 

My heart slams against my rib cage even harder than before, aching to scream  itself till I'm blue on the face. Yet, there's this scratchy pain in the back of my throat, it's voice only gets louder. So loud that I want to say the shit that I'll have to drown myself in liquor not to regret. But, I let go.

 "No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no!"

"Keith, bud-"

"Don't call me bud, like a dad should! You're not my dad."

Shiro's eyes widen "Keith..."

"I don't care if you feel pity for me. My dads gone, and you know what-GOOD RIDDANCE TO HIM. I know there has to be a reason that my mother ran away. I know he was apart of it. Thank god he's gone, I'm free, he left me and threw me in a shit hole, but I'm free! So don't you dare try to be the father he wasn't. I don't want that." 

"Shhh, hey, look, I-Im not trying to be your dad. He's long gone, and I'm happy that you're free, Keith. I know that you and Hunk were close when you went into the foster program, do you need me to call him?"

"No, I don't need anyone right now."

"You don't need to be alone right now."

I growl "Shiro...."

Shiro sighs and furrows his eyebrows in frustration. I tell him that I'll be fine, but of course he doesn't listen.

I try to reason with Shiro, but he doesn't listen.

I snarl and shout nasty phrases, but of course, he didn't listen.

He sighs and slowly makes his way to the brim of the pool where I stand. His beat-up sneakers pounding into the pavement with a loud "clap clap".

"Shiro, stop it."

clap clap

"I don't need anyone! Hunk has a life, you have a life-let me figure mine out!" God, I just want to be alone right now. Everything is so loud and even though it's just us two-I feel like I'm being humiliated by the imaginary audience in my head. I just need to be alone and scream my bloody guts out, why can't he see that!