teacher - seungmin x reader

- thirty one -

"no." you whisper, tears already prickling just below your eyelids. 

"no?" seungmin certainly wasn't expecting this reaction and jesus christ, he thinks he's messed up. 

"don't say that. not when you don't mean it." you whimper, remembering the first time he said those words, the letters strung together into a blur of sounds. as soon as he realized what he had said, he rushed out the door, taking a piece of your heart with him. 

"oh, baby." he coos, a pout tugging on his lower lip when he sees the tears brimming and threatening to fall. what did he do to you? he tries to reach for you, but you hesitate. 

"you- you're not saying this just because you want to fuck, right?" you know its a stupid question, but you have to make sure. after all, the only other times he's said that to you was when he was balls deep inside of you. 

your question cuts seungmin and stings when he sees how you try desperately not to show how broken you are. god, he hates himself for making you hurt like this. he almost cant blame hyunjin for defending you, albeit being a little hostile. 

"hey." seungmin forces you to look at him, large hands coming up to cup your jaw gently. "im so sorry for being a stupid pussy. but no. i don't want to fuck- its like, the last thing on my mind." he swears, thumb caressing your cheeks. 

"don't fuck with me right now, please." you close your eyes, begging him. 

seungmin leans forward, the sound of the covers crinkling under him as he shifts his weight to move towards you. gently, he plants a soft kiss on your lips, so light and pillowy you don't even feel it there. his lavender scent drowns you, calming your nerves. he pulls away before you can kiss him back, and you open your eyes to check his expression. 

he looks timidly at you, almost as if he had just told you a secret no one else knows but you. 

"you mean it." it's not a question, a fact that you simply state. 

"i've loved you since the day i promised i wouldn't." 

his words make your head spin.

"maybe it's your rebellious streak, never doing what others tell you." you reply stubbornly, but seungmin just smiles at you. 

"maybe its the way your smile reaches your eyes." he whispers, pointer finger resting under your chin. 

"maybe you should shut up." you blush, and seungmin just chuckles. 

"cant believe i was dumb enough to let you slip through my fingers like, five times." his voice is low, knees touching yours as you sit cross-legged in front of each other on your bed. 

"can't believe it took you this long to tell me how you felt." 

"and you've told me how you felt, when exactly?" his tone is playful, but in all honesty, seungmin wants to bite down on his fist and knock himself out. 

he's never been this vulnerable, he's an open book for you. he wishes he could read your mind, get to know what happening in your pretty little head when you look up at him with doe eyes and a small grin on your lips. 

in the dark, seungmin's hands find yours. he laces your fingers together, thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand as he smiles softly at you. "what are you thinking about?" 

you shrug. "nothing really, i'm still dizzy. i think my brain's trying to convince me this isn't a dream." 

"it's not." seungmin chuckles, pulling your hands towards him so you lean forward. "i can prove it." he breathes against your skin, and you shudder.