hate; hjs + lmh

23.

"when we were in high school, i got him into trouble almost every day..and i did that because he was the only person in my life that didn't give me any relevance"

minho laughed at himself, "god i was so stupid..anyways, half way through high school i learned more about my sexuality and started to like someone..but i hated myself for it because how could i like a guy? especially him"

chan listened as he handed the wine glass back to minho, "maybe i should let you drink a bit more"

"thank you" he took the glass, "so there i was, in denial about my sexuality and my crush..but that brat jisung was always so confident and comfortable with himself, it made me sick because i wanted to be like that i wanted to be comfortable with my feelings"

~

"so what if you like guys! minho it's not a problem, you can't control your feelings" jisung tried to explain, he placed his hand on minho's shoulder trying to comfort him, "even i like boys-"

minho pushed jisung's hand away, "don't touch me you freak.." he distanced himself from the boy, "it's y-your fault"

"what..?" he looked at him with a confused expression, trying to figure out what he was talking about. "min it's alright to feel this way"

"shut up jisung!" he sat down and put his head in his hands, "i can't feel this way..especially not about-" he stopped himself from finishing the sentence.

jisung sat down next to him again, "about who?" he asked, "i know we don't get along much but i'll try help you through this..who do you feel this way about?"

minho looked up at jisung, tears flooding his eyes, he didn't have to say anything for jisung to understand his expressions said it all.

"oh.." he frowned as minho moved away from
him. "minho list-"

"no, just please leave me alone..i h-hate you for making me feel like this" he wiped away his tears, "you d-did this to me"

~

"i screamed at him so much that day..all because i refused to accept my own feelings" he laughed as he felt a tear fall down from his eyes, "i hate him chan, i hate him for breaking my heart"

"i hate him because i was in love with him.." he wiped the tears that stained his cheeks.

his friend sighed, reaching out to hold his hand, "i understand but min it's not his fault he couldn't return your feelings..but i'm not saying it's yours either, it's alright to hate him but please be more gentle with him min, if he truly hated you why did he keep your secret for so long? why has he never told anyone?"

minho sat there with chan's question running through his mind, he frowned slightly as he repeated the words "yeah..why has he kept it a secret?"

~