Total drama pahkitew island

...

I've always been good at hiding my emotions.

Whether it's holding back tears when I didn't get a toy I wanted, or putting on a smile when I didn't do as good as normal in school.

But when Scarlett left, It's like all the anger, and sadness that had been building up inside me for the last sixteen years just came pouring out in a big, messy, wave.

I knew that if I made friends this season, I'd have to say goodbye to some of them, I get that, but Scarlett was just... different. I loved her, No, I do love her. Present tense, and it wasn't really her leaving that made me the most upset, it's that I feel like she was lying to me the whole time.

Did she actually like me? Does she really want to be friends? I have so many stupid questions, and unlike math, there is no one, clear, simple answer.

For all i know, she hates me. And every single nice thing she ever said to me was complete bull. But I guess I'll never know.

___________

Lying in my bed that night, sleep was impossible. Every time I turned over, i would just find myself staring at Scarlett's empty bed, and feeling like a loser. So, I grabbed my notebook, and went for a walk.

I ended up walking towards the place Scarlett and I had walked a few day ago. It looked so different than it did in daylight. Eerie. Dark. Or maybe that was just my mind playing tricks on me. I sat down on a rock, and started drawing.

People have different ways to cope. Gina has dancing, Eric has pointless working out. And me... well, I have drawing, writing and pretty much anything else that can be done with paper and a pencil.

Halfway through drawing, i relised it was Scarlett. I snapped my book shut "What is wrong with me..." i whispered, closing my eyes.

I turned over my dog tags and read the inscription.

'Friends equal family.' I read 'And family means no one gets left behind'. More tears fell.

I am such a gigantic loser.

I thought, WWGD (What would Gina do). Gina would probably talk to someone. Fat chance of that. I shove my feelings in a bottle, then throw the bottle out a window. I picked up my notebook and stood up, before continuing to walk. I opened my mouth

"I thought you were my fairy-tale

My dream when I'm not sleepin'
A wish upon a star that's comin' true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you, whoa. I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singin'
And when you smiled, you made me feel
Like I could sing along. But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a songNow I know you're not a fairy-tale
And dreams are meant for sleepin'
And wishes on a star just don't come true
'Cause now, even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Because I liked the view
When there was me and you". (A/n, sry this song's so cringy, it just seemed fitting)

I leaned against a tree and cried my eyes out. I hate this show.

I quit. 

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A/n, hi, if u actually read this chapter, congratulations! U get a cookie! Anyway, this is not the end, btw! Just to clarify that. The end is not quite here! Almost, but not quite here

-Chinchilla ✨