𝔞 𝔟𝔬𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔬𝔬𝔩 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢

chapter 34 - life goes on

picture from @aaadokiii on pinterest

𝐘/𝐍

It's been one month since Olivia's passing. 

I've started to heal, and so has Caroline. 

I discovered that Caroline's family adopted a little girl of 3 years old, when Caroline was also 3. That girl was Olivia, and they've been best friends since then. It must have been so much harder for Caroline to grieve her death. 

Alora and Caroline are cousins. Alora's dad is Olivia and Caroline's mom's brother. That makes them first cousins. 

In the month that has passed, nothing much has happened. I've missed a bunch of classes, especially language arts, because my sadness was too great. 

Never art class, though. That was when I had Evelyn there to help me. 

During the first 2 weeks, I only sat in bed. I attended my classes when I felt strong enough to do so. I didn't hang out with anyone, not unless they came to my dorm and spent time with me there. I didn't like leaving my room. 

Evelyn and Louis were so patient with me. It's been 4 long weeks, and never once had either of them lost their temper with me. Louis has brought me breakfast everyday, from the bakery. I would be lying if I said that those divine muffins didn't have a part in my healing process. 

Evelyn brought me a healthy lunch from the Dining Hall everyday, so as to make sure I was getting some sort of protein. 

Sometimes, she'd be able to convince me to get up and dance. 

Aidan has been helpful too. He doesn't seem like the sort to be comfortable to talk about sadness, and is visually uncomfortable to see anyone upset. 

But he's brought me a bunch of treats everyday, which, like the muffins, helped me heal. Some days it was crisps and a slushy, other days it was lollies and chocolates. 

On the 4th and final week, I started to feel better. I even went out with Louis, Evelyn, and Aidan to a park. The park was part of a preschool, and there were a few little girls playing when we arrived. 

One of them ran up to me and gave me a little daisy that she had plucked. 

That helped me too. It was the little things. 

It was now October 30th. Fall was settling in, leaving summer far behind. 

There was a lovely chill in the air, and I liked to think it was Olivia. 

Halloween was tomorrow. It's my favorite holiday. And for the first time in a long 28 days, I feel well enough to smile meaningfully. 

Louis and I are taking a stroll in the fall weather. He lent me his jacket when he saw the goosebumps on my arms, and I took it gladly. 

We're walking hand in hand, taking in the beautiful scenery. 

"I'm glad you're doing better now." he says with a smile. 

I melt a little bit inside. "I am too. And thank you for being so patient with me. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend."

"Don't thank me. That's what your loved ones do." He goes red after he says this.

 He must not have thought it through, because he just told me he loved me, without knowing it. He looks at me, red all the way down to his ears, and says "I'm sorry, I didn't know that I was saying that. I mean, not that I don't mean it. I do. But I don't know if that's what you think." he stutters. 

I stare at him, stuttering stupidly, and smile a huge, cheeky smile. "I love you too, Louis."

He stands there, stunned. Then he gently tugs me closer to him by my waist, and bends down to kiss me passionately. 

For that moment, everything is picture perfect. 

______________________________________________________

When we get back to the school, we decide to go to the recreational room. That's the room where most people hang out, and you can buy snacks there. 

Evelyn and Aidan are out on a date, which i urged her to go on. It's a random Thursday afternoon, and the room is packed full with people. I don't know if i'm ready for this many people at once just yet. 

Louis must notice me hesitate to enter the room any further, because he takes my hand and we walk outside in silence, to the koi pond. 

It's been a long time since we've been here. It's been a long time since i've been anywhere, actually. 

We sit silently by the pod, and I watch the fish. There's a big, bright orange one that stands out to me the most. 

I think of Olivia. 

Louis seems to know what i'm thinking, because he takes my hand and helps me up, and picks a purple flower from nearby. "Come." 

He takes the flower and hands it to me, and then instructs. "Brush it on her." 

I do as he says, and run the flower against her body. 

Then he tells me to hold on to the flower, and he starts to dig a little spot next to the pond, just big enough for the flower. "Okay, now bury it here."

I put the flower slowly into the space he emptied, and then we gently scoop some water from the pond onto the flower. 

Then he lets me gently put the dirt back on top. He finds a stick to mark it with, and we stand back to admire what we've done. 

"I know it's not a proper burial, but I hope it makes you feel better. You should say a few words."

Olivia's funeral took place in Australia. That's where she lived. Unfortunately, I couldn't attend. 

"I'm sorry, Olivia. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not spending time with you even though you were a friend to me when I felt alone. Rest in peace. Pet all the dogs for us." I manage to say. 

Louis let me have my time to say whatever was on my chest, and when I was done, I walked over to him and buried my head in his chest. 

Though making the small grave was a very small, and simple gesture, it made me feel like she was finally at rest, and she knew I was sorry. And that was all I wanted. 

I smile through the tears. The weight that was on my shoulders feels like it was lifted. Olivia's death will always haunt me, and those close to her, and it will never go away. But like Evelyn said, life goes on.