"Lara," Azriel called, arms crossed. A freckle-faced brunette, hair cropped close to her scalp, stepped forward. "Please lead the group through the eight positions. Remember, everyone, to focus on keeping your knees bent." The ask lit up the brown eyes of the young priestess. She was showing promise, and he could use that as his excuse to leave the group in her hands. She nodded and turned to the rest of the mid-level trainees, calling for position one. The shadowsinger turned on his heel, stalking to the other side of the ring where the advanced females were sparring in pairs. The inky smoke billowed around him, belying the raucous emotions clawing to escape his chest. He felt his spymaster mask slowly sliding back into place, a natural defense to the anxiety that twisted his stomach.
"You alright, brother?"
He blinked, finding himself chest to chest with the broad-shouldered general. Cassian flashed him a knowing grin. "Gwyn's busy," he added dryly.
"Yes, her not even making eye contact with me all morning was a clear indication, thank you," Azriel sneered, letting his discomfort steer his words. His brother stepped back, concern softening the arrogant smirk.
"Did something happen?" Cassian asked, amber eyes darting to where the copper-haired priestess sparred with his mate. The songbird and Lady Death. The shadowsinger frowned, eyes shuttering.
"That's what I'd like to fucking know."
A low whistle drifted from Cassian's lips as he stepped away, leaving the spymaster to stew. His wings flared as he rolled his shoulders. He felt antsy. Unsettled. He couldn't imagine what might have happened for Gwyn to be so avoidant. Possibilities raced through his mind as his eyes followed her movements, each option progressively more dramatic and potentially heartbreaking. Had she opened her eyes this morning and finally realized that she deserved so much more than his shattered soul? He methodically began shutting down his emotions, preparing for whatever was to come. Her rejection of him would break him beyond recovery. But he was not unaccustomed to misery. He would survive, if only just.
"Good work today, ladies. Don't forget to stretch and hydrate," Cassian barked over the growing chatter. The shadowsinger lost his focus only for a second before seeing a flash of copper escaping through the archway.
"Godsdammit," he muttered, feet flying after her. She was halfway down the hall to the dining room when he caught her. "Gwyn, what's wrong?" She stopped, but didn't turn to face him. His wings drew impossibly close to him, tension creeping into his shoulders.
"Nothing is wrong, Az." Her tone simmered with a forced enthusiasm, causing dread to settle in his gut.
"That's a lie and you fucking know it," he growled. Azriel took a startled step back when she flinched at his aggressive response. He took a breath and slowly reached for her hand. When she didn't pull away he slid his fingers in between hers, tugging gently to turn her body to face him. "Gwyn. Please."
His shoulders instantly loosened when she looked up at him, but the relief was quickly replaced with concern when he saw her eyes. Dark with pain and red with exhaustion. Instantly his rough hands were cupping her cheeks, realization hitting him like Cassian in a sparring match.
"Oh, Songbird," he rasped, voice cracking. She looked so very tired. Not like when one has a nightmare or loses some sleep. But the soul-crushing exhaustion of shame and loneliness and self-loathing. It was a tiredness with which he was painfully well-acquainted. "You're not okay." Her eyes crinkled as tears welled, her lips pursing as she struggled to hold herself together. She shook her head frantically, shaking loose the threatening tears as they splashed upon his thumbs. "Let's go somewhere we can talk."
"I'll be fine, Az. I don't want to burden you with my silliness," she sniffled. He leaned his forehead into hers, burning hazel eyes boring into her.
"Gwyneth Berdara. You've not looked at me or spoken to me all morning. You're here, in my arms, one breath away from falling apart." His voice was gravelly with emotion, so thick it threatened to catch in his throat. He ached for her, the pain she was feeling threatening to shred him. "I see the look in your eyes, Gwyn. I know it. I've seen it in the mirror more times than I can count. Nothing about this is silly."
YOU ARE READING
The Raven and the Songbird
Fanfiction"I thought we were friends, Azriel. I was caught off-guard but you have to know it was forgiven the day it happened." The priestess looked back up to him. His body vibrated from the determination that sparkled in her gaze like the moon reflected in...
