ALEX & ALEX

Chapter 4: Things Go Wonderfully Right (Or Horribly Wrong)

ALEXANDER LAVIGNE (IN ALEXANDRIA EVANGELISTA'S BODY)

He brought me to a small café called Sip and Snack, and I was so shocked because people knew me. Well, at least, this woman's body.

Naupo kaming dalawa sa pinakadulong pwesto para walang tao. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya at tinaasan naman n'ya ako ng kilay.

"What?" takang tanong n'ya.

"You're not gonna order?" I asked. "Bakit pa tayo nagpunta rito?"

"Huh?" nalilito na sabi n'ya. "Wala naman akong pera. At saka hindi naman sakin 'to, kaya bakit ko gagastusin?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, I am very much aware. Kaya umorder ka na muna ng kahit ano. Bilis!"

Napipilitan naman s'yang tumayo bago pumila sa counter. Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay nakabalik na rin s'ya.

"Okay, let's start." He said. "What's happening?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Beats me. I don't even know. Paggising ko lang kanina, nasa ibang tao na 'ko."

Napasandal s'ya sa upuan. "Aish! Isang araw pa lang, hindi ko na kaya 'to! Mababaliw na 'ko!"

"I don't think babalik agad tayo sa kanya-kanya nating mga katawan." I did the same at isinandal ang katawan sa upuan. "There must be something happening na parehas nating hindi alam."

"Ah!" parang may bigla s'yang naalala at tumuwid sa pagkakaupo. "Bakit hindi mo sinagot ang text ko sayo? I've been waiting buong araw na!"

I tsked. "How could I do that? I don't even know the password of your phone. Hindi pa pwede ang fingerprint kaya pinatay ko na lang."

Napatango-tango s'ya. Magsasalita pa sana s'ya kaya lang ay dumating na ang order namin.

"Thank you, Joey." sambit n'ya.

Mukhang nagulat naman yung lalaking waiter dahil kilala s'ya nito. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa at saka n'ya lang narealize ang sinabi n'ya.

"A-Ah... S-Sinabi n'ya sakin! Oo, tama! Hehe... sabi n'ya kasi sakin nagtratrabaho s'ya rito..." aligagang aniya. Hindi ko maintindihan ang mga pinagsasabi n'ya kaya pinandilatan n'ya ako ng mata.

"A-Ayy... Oo nga pala... sinabi ko sa kanya na nagtratrabaho ako rito... Thank you, uhm, ah—" tumingin ako sa kanya dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang pangalan.

"—J-Joey... Thank you, Joey!" dugtong n'ya at tumango-tango. Nagpaalam na samin si Joey at naiwan ulit kaming dalawa.

"You're working here?" Iyon agad ang tanong ko.

He nodded. "Oo. Pero part-time lang naman. Every weekend."

"No way..."

He smiled. "Yes way. At dahil nagkapalit tayo ng katawan, you have to do everything. My work, my responsibilities, my studies, everything."

I glared at him. "Then, I going to quit. Everything."

He stared at me. "Don't. You. Dare, Alexander!"

"So, you knew my name?" I smirked. "How did you find it?"

Tumingala s'ya na parang nag-iisip. "Hmm... nakita ko sa bag mo yung ID mo. Doon ko nakita."

"What else did you find?"

Fuck it. Never thought I look so cute while thinking of something.

"Uhm, wala naman masyado..." saka ako sinamaan ng tingin, marahil ay may naalala s'ya. "Maliban sa napakarami mong condom!"

My laughter burst at what he said. I feel like I haven't laughed for a while now. Masama ang tingin n'ya sakin habang tawa lang ako nang tawa.

"Tsk! Stop laughing! Mahiya ka naman!" He whispered. I look around and saw some people are looking at us. Natahimik naman agad ako at bumalik sa kanya ang tingin.

"Let's play a game." she said after a few minutes of silence.

"What game?"

"Magtatanong ako sayo ng isang question. It could be anything. Your life, your family, anything about you. And you should answer it, honestly. Hindi pwedeng may makaalam sa nangyari satin."

I nodded, curious on what would I find about Alexandria Evangelista. "Sure, let's do it."

ALEXANDRIA EVANGELISTA (IN ALEXANDER LAVIGNE'S BODY)

"Okay, first question. Who's Lavinia? And why the hell she's annoying me?" seryosong tanong ko.

Ngumisi naman s'ya at tumawa nang mahina. "Seriously, that's your first question?"

"Yup. It's sensible and your answer will be very much appreciated."

"Lavi's my girlfriend. Well, she's one of my girlfriends. I get your point at your follow-up question, though. She's really annoying."

Ngumiwi ako at tumango-tango. "Okay, my turn. Do your brothers always act like that?"

"Like what? Mabait naman parehas si Budong at El, ah."

Dinuro-duro n'ya ako at nanlalaki ang mga mata habang umiinom ng kape. "Yeah! That Budong and El! How dare them to gave me orders! My mom didn't even do that to me before!"

I cheekily smiled. "Ah, gano'n talaga sila. Of course, what do you expect sa mga bata na laki sa kalye? May proper etiquette sa lahat ng bagay?"

"Kahit na ba, 'no! Budong even said that na kawawa ako kasi wala pang nagiging boyfriend ang ate nila!"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "A favor?"

"What?" she asked.

"Paki-kotongan para sakin si Budong. O di kaya pitikin mo sa itlog. Pero, mahina lang. Iyakin kasi 'yon."

She slowly lowered her gaze at tumama iyon sa may bandang ilalim ng mesa. "Sa... itlog?"

"Aish! Ano bang iniisip mo, ha? Kainis ka!" aligaga kong tinakpan na para bang babae ang katawan ko. Amused naman s'yang nakatingin sakin.

"Enough with this. Okay, second question. It will gonna be a yes or no type of question kaya mabilis lang."

Tumango naman s'ya agad. "You have a lot of girlfriends, right?"

"Yup! A lot!"

Lumapit ako sa kanya at hininaan ang boses. "Then, you're having a lot of sex, too?"

"Bingo!"

Napapikit ako sa sinabi n'ya. "Are you even practicing safe sex?"

"Always, darling. It's a must."

"You don't have any STD?"

"I'm clean."

"Then, can I have another check up? Wanna make sure."

"Sure. I won't mind."

I nodded repeatedly. "Okay. I'll do that."

"Before I ask my second question. Can you unlock your phone? O di kaya, tanggalin mo na lang ang password."

Iniabot n'ya sakin ang cellphone ko na agad ko namang kinuha. "Instead of doing this, magpalit na lang tayo ng cellphone. Baka may importante ka ring gagawin, eh."

"What if someone ask kung bakit naging ganito ang cellphone natin?" Kinuha ko sa bag ang cellphone n'ya at ibinalik ko sa kanya.

"Then, ikaw na ang bahalang magpaliwanag." Ini-unlock ko ang cellphone ko at nagpunta sa contacts. "Give me your number pala. Baka may kailangan tayong pag-usapan at mahuli pa tayo."

Ibinigay naman n'ya ang number at isinave ko naman. The other Alex.

"Nandyan na ang number ko. I saved it as Alexandria Evangelista. Palitan mo na lang kung gusto mo."

Tumango naman s'ya at nagtipa-tipa. "I changed your name." Pinakita n'ya sakin ang screen ng cellphone n'ya. "The other Alex."

I smiled. At least, there's something that we have in common.