Beige

Chapter Ten

TW: PANIC ATTACK

Alexis Monpettit

I haven't seen Harry since our little hang out on Saturday, which is making the drive to his house seem longer than necessary, or maybe it's the fact that I've purposely made a forty-five minute drive turn into over an hour. I'm not even driving anymore, in fact, I've been parked at the end of his street for the past twenty minutes. It's not like I'm nervous to pull up to his driveway, I've just been on edge the past few days.

Not having seen him within the past four days has caused a setback within my thoughts. After brunch on Sunday with Emma, I went down to the beach and was able to talk out my feelings about everything with the help of my sweet ocean friend.

We had a nice conversation, well just me talking, while Mr. Ocean repeatedly washed up against my legs, reminding me that he'll always be there. I just needed the reassurance that there's no pressure being put on me other than what I do upon myself. I don't want there to be an instance where I have to pause for a moment because I'm letting what others think about me affect who I am or what I do. The pressure the voices in my head put on me, is enough for everyone else in my life.

Monday, I went to work ready to see Harry again only to find out that he would be in the studio all week. I won't mention the ping of disappointment that ran through my body like a chill when I heard that. I reminded myself that I'm not supposed to have expectations, I'm just accepting things as they come. It's not like Harry's supposed to be at the office anyway, we were told at the start that he would only be around periodically for fittings and to give opinions when needed.

Tuesday, I went to therapy. It was a good session, Christy was happy that I hadn't canceled on Harry and had said that there was immense progress being made because of that. It's always weird to hear when she says I'm making progress, when in reality I'm doing the least amount I can to bring myself out of my comfort zone. I guess that's just another thing that Harry has done without knowing it.

Wednesday, I went into work and helped Lamby with the final touches on Harry's outfit for today, which then led to him volunteering me to be the one to drop off the finished piece for Harry's interview today.

Which leads me to now, still sitting at the end of Harry's street, with his outfit in my backseat.

The barrier in my mind seems to be going away the more that I think about who is waiting at the end of the road. Taking a deep breath, I decide that if I don't go now Harry is going to be late for his interview and I can't have that happening because of me.

I pull back onto the road, closing the three-hundred feet gap between Harry's driveway and my car. After I park the car and turn it off I look out to find Harry already exiting his house. I let out another sigh as he makes his way to my car. It may be noon but he looks as if he had just rolled out of bed; a pair of gray sweatpants and a simple black t-shirt on his body. I'm not sure how long I watch him before he's right in front of me, opening the car door.

I smile as the blockade between us is removed, turning my head to see him leaning against the car door already staring back at me. "Hi Harry."

He returns the smile on my face, my favorite feature of his popping out. "Hi Lex."

We spend the next few seconds looking at each other, relaxing in the peacefulness that overcomes the both of us whenever we're together. I take a moment to look away out of the windshield before turning my head back to him, "were you waiting for me?"

A light pinkness tones his cheeks as he tries to hide his smile but fails, "nope, just waiting for my debut piece from McComb, although some girl seemed to pull the whole thing together, so maybe it should have a different tag on it."