The Five Stages of Gayness

Chapter Thirteen - Third Base

ADRIEL

Chapter Thirteen

I was in the midst of being bored to death by my trigonometry teacher when my phone vibrated in my pocket, indicating that I had a text. I was grateful for the distraction from the platitudes of the lesson. Until I saw who it was, that is. It was Hannah. Great. Really fucking great.

I glanced over at Alex, absorbed in his textbook. God, he was hot. I swear, he somehow seemed to get more attractive every day. Though today, he seemed a bit sad. I had no idea what had happened, but I had the urge to comfort him. Of course, it probably would've been weird coming from the guy who'd hit him several times.

Stop it. Fucking stop. On top of it, Hannah is waiting.

I resigned myself to talking to my annoying, flitty girlfriend.

Hannah: Let me guess: boring class?

Adriel: Yep.

Hannah: Wanna hang out tonight?

I really had no viable reason not to. I didn't think I could get out of it this time. I didn't have football practice and I still preferred Hannah to my father.

Adriel: Fine.

Hannah: You don't seem very happy.

Adriel: Why wouldn't I be? I love spending time with my beautiful, perfect girlfriend.

It was really hard to press the send button on that one. I hated lying.

Hannah: Alright! My mom's out, so you can cone to my house around 8:00.

I was instantly filled with dread. Her house. Alone. No parentals in the area. She was going to try to get me to have sex with her, wasn't she? I wasn't going to be able to blow her off twice. Whatever. I supposed I had to do it. I was going to have to man up.

Adriel: See you there.

Hannah: Love you.

I looked at Alex again, who was now thoughtfully chewing the end of his pencil. Dayum.

I turned back to my cell phone and started typing slowly. I forced out three words, three words that meant everything. Three words that were a complete lie.

Adriel: I love you.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I was actually physically repulsed. I'd been taught that love was sacred. I most definitely didn't love Hannah, so why had I told her I did? I just wanted her to shut up. I turned off the screen of my cellphone and shoved it agressively into my pocket.

I looked at Alex again, taking in every detail of him. Yes, love was sacred and beautiful. It was torturous and transcendant and turbulent and amazing all at the same time.

Yes, I'd been taught that love was sacred. But I'd also been taught that love was between a man and a woman. Was it though? I was pretty sure that neither I nor Alex was female.

Never mind. He's obviously not interested.

I turned back to the lesson, the dull monotone of the teacher's voice pounding into my skull. I was pretty sure I was about to fall asleep on top of my textbook when the bell rang, jolting me out of my daze between two states. I collected my books, looking at Alex once more on my way out.

Did that kid even have any friends? I'd honestly never seen him talking to anyone. And it was november. I'd been surrounded by a crowd of girls who wanted me and guys who wanted to be me within two days of my arrival freshman year. I supposed that people were too afraid of me to talk to him. Alex seemed pretty indifferent, but it must still be pretty hard.