His Excellency: The Untamed

22. Memories of His Excellency

Wei Ying did not know what he was expecting to see. He braced himself before he entered Lan Zhan's mind through empathy. 

But he did expect to see the world from Lan Zhan's eyes. What that world would be, he was unsure of. But what he saw surprised and jarred him equally. 

"Lan Zhan. I will help you with anything you need." he tried his best to reassure Lan Zhan.

"How did you get in?"

"Empathy." He explained again.

But Lan Zhan shook his head, "how did you get into an unstable mind? You shouldn't get into an unstable mind. Wei Ying. Leave."

But Wei Ying was just as stubborn if not more, "Lan Zhan, going through what you went through all those years ago in one moment might hurt you. I am not leaving."

"You can't see this." but his words were overpowered by another Lan Zhan. A younger Lan Zhan angrily called his name, "Weiii Yiiiing."

What surprised him weren't the words but how he looked in Lan Zhan's memory, moonlight bouncing off his white clothes and the moon reflected in his eyes. Lan Zhan saw him as bright as the moon itself. Or was it the sun? He couldn't understand but the wave of emotions told him that Lan Zhan compared him to a celestial. It was one of their night hunting nights for the Yin iron. Lan Zhan felt happy and afraid. Trying to turn away from himself, trying to deny himself.

"Lan Zhan? Even then?" his heart clenched.

The scene turned dark and he felt Lan Zhan's emotions again but he couldn't see anything. His heart clenched in pain at whatever Lan Zhan remembered. He looked around but he couldn't see anyone except Lan Zhan beside him.

Lan Zhan had managed to shield him from the memories Lan Zhan was reliving. He knew the memories even if he couldn't see them. The despair at the demise of his sect. 

He concentrated on their link, on the warm pulsating core overtaking the curse steadily and the scene cleared. But the emotions of pain changed, into something else. Anxiousness. He had stepped out of the line to deal with Wen Chao. He could see his own back and feel his heart beating fast in fear. There was also a mild physical throb somewhere. though Lan Zhan didn't think about that physical pain, he knew where it was coming from. Lan Zhan's broken leg.

The scene changed to when he was feverish in the cave and Lan Zhan spoke the word, "Wangxian."

He felt Lan Zhan's sense of acceptance as he named the song at that moment. It was the first time he had heard the song. He could feel a history, Lan Zhan's memory wrapped within a memory, of a time when he had composed the song. When he had given him the flower and the drawing.

The scene shifted and he saw Lan Zhan checking his temperature before he turned to leave, his heart heavy at leaving him behind unconscious. He was torn between his sect and his love. He knew the feeling, of having to choose. With every step Lan Zhan took away, his image of being sick loomed over Lan Zhan. 

Lan Zhan's emotions choked him too.

Then the scene changed and he saw Lan Zhan's clenched fists through Lan Zhan's eyes as the news of Jiang's demise reached them. He was in the ancestral hall but what Lan Zhan felt was shielded from him. He looked sideways to see a deep frown of concentration. Lan Zhan was trying his best to close off the memories from him. It took Lan Zhan to double the effort, going through these emotions and shielding him simultaneously.

"If you don't want me to see it, I won't," he closed his eyes as he reached out to touch Lan Zhan's wrist, "Just let me know if there is something you can't take."

He was here to help Lan Zhan deal with the slaughter of emotions not to push him over the edge. He felt Lan Zhan's relief mixed with the young Lan Zhan's anxiousness.