Distant Dreams

Rude Awakenings 3

Felix had waited for days hoping to dream of Hyunjin again. Having listened to the man's beautiful voice speak to him in Korean made him want to learn. He had known it as a child but hadn't spoken Korean in so long. He asked his parents to help him learn it and his mother started speaking Korean around him more but it was very slow going to understand what she was saying. He decided to take a language at your pace type class and started repeating words back and learning in his free time. He had no idea what was driving him to learn, based on nothing but a couple dreams but maybe he would go to Korea one day and find his own Hyunjin and it would help to be able to talk to a real life man. Nothing could compete with the dream one, but this reality would be wonderful. Work continued the same as it always had and things with his roommate hadn't gotten any better. Felix was barely existing and only the promise he had made in his dream kept him from giving up. It may have been nothing but a dream, but having someone so confidently in his corner telling him not to give up had given him the breath of life he had needed.

Deciding he needed to get out of his rut, when a customer asked him out he accepted. They planned a date for the upcoming weekend and Felix tried to ignore that it was because the way she had tilted her head had reminded him of Hyunjin and that was why he had accepted. He was happy to be getting out but not necessarily to be going on a date. She seemed very nice though so he imagined they would have a good time, if nothing else came of it. He headed to the dojo for his Taekwondo lesson and used the session to work out his muscles. By the time he finished warming up, his muscles were loose and he had let his mind go blank. After the lesson was over, he headed home and grabbed dinner along the way. He was craving ramen and stopped at a Korean place and got the ramen and some Korean fried chicken. When he got home, he headed straight for his room and put on the latest show he was watching and ate his dinner. He enjoyed it but wished he had someone to share it with. He heard his roommate come home and rolled his eyes at the slamming door. He threw away his trash and headed into the shower. He cleaned himself and his mind drifted to a beautiful jaw and kissable lips and gorgeous brown eyes with a little freckle below one. He realized he was thinking about Hyunjin again and shook his head. It had been a week, he really needed to get past this dream. His date with Shelly would be the perfect thing. He fell into a deep sleep.

He looked around and realized he was in Hyunjin's room again. His stomach fluttered with excitement. "Hyunjin?" He called, his face breaking into a grin. The other man sat up suddenly, his eyes lightening considerably. His face was puffy and red and Felix's smile dropped off as he realized the other man had been crying. He moved closer and sat on the edge of the other man's bed and gently wiped away a tear. "Why are you crying?" He asked tenderly. Hyunjin looked at him curiously. He realized the problem and reached for his phone only to realize he didn't have it in his pajamas. "Shit!" He exclaimed. Hyunjin looked at him curiously and he shrugged. The man looked at him with confusion and then nodded and grabbed his phone. He toyed with the phone for a minute and then put it between them and gestured for him to use the app. Felix smiled at him and hit the microphone button. "I asked why you had been crying." he said and let it translate for him. Hyunjin blushed a bit and then took the phone and said something. Felix watched him as he waited for it to translate.

"I was feeling lonely." Hyunjin admitted. Felix nodded in sympathy and reached out to touch the other man's face gently.

"Don't cry, you will find someone. Anyone would be lucky to get to go out with you." He smiled. Hyunjin leaned into his hand slightly and Felix's smile brightened.

"I missed you, my sunshine boy." came from the phone and Hyunjin bit his lip nervously, and before Felix could respond, he spoke again. "I didn't think I would dream of you again, it's been so many days." Felix smiled at him.

"I missed you too." He admitted. When the phone translated for him, Hyunjin's mouth tipped up into a brilliant smile. Felix stood and began to look around the room since he hadn't gotten to before. He saw a sketchpad on the bed and picked it up and saw a beautiful sketch of his own face. With a huge grin he held it up and pointed to himself. Hyunjin nodded and mimed drawing it. Felix moved back toward the bed and the other man moved a bit so he could sit more comfortably. Felix took a seat "You are a great artist, this is really good!" He listened to the phone translate and he flipped back and realized there were several sketches of him. "These are beautiful, and really flattering." He blushed prettily. Hyunjin touched his cheek.

"You are beautiful." He admitted to Felix and Felix could feel his cheeks grow warm. "I wish you were more than a dream." Felix knew exactly what he meant. They felt like magnets being drawn together. Fighting the pull did nothing.

"I do too." Felix admitted. "And thank you." He looked down and bit his lip before admitting the rest, "You are beautiful too." Hyunjin blushed at that. "So tell me about your week."

They settled into their conversations and talked for hours. Hyunjin told Felix about Chan seeing him do the moves Felix had shown him and them being added into the routine. "That's so awesome Hyunjin!" he said. "I'm glad I could help." He listened to Hyunjin ask what he had been doing. Felix got more comfortable on the bed and Hyunjin mirrored him. They wound up laying on the bed facing each other. "I did get asked out today, that was different. We are going out tomorrow night for dinner. So at least I have something to look forward to." Hyunjin's face changed immediately and he looked away from Felix. "What's wrong?" He asked immediately. He waited for Hyunjin to hesitate and finally begin to speak.

"Since this is a dream, can I be honest?" The phone translated and Felix nodded. "I hate the thought that my dream guy is going on a date with someone else. I want it to be me." He admitted and Felix's eyes widened and he smiled.

"I would go out with you in a heartbeat." Felix admitted. "I think you are the most beautiful man I have ever dreamed of." He tangled their fingers together nervously. He looked at Hyunjin's long thin fingers. Even his hands were beautiful. "Can we snuggle?" He asked softly, his voice full of need. Hyunjin nodded with a smile. Felix moved closer and hesitated for a second and put his arm around Hyunjin. The older man kissed his forehead tenderly. Felix felt safe and cared for in this man's arms. He looked up with a smile and froze as they made eye contact. "Why can't I meet someone like you?"

"Maybe we are only supposed to meet like this." Hyunjin answered a bit sadly. Felix looked deeply into his eyes and without realizing it he started to lean in. Hyunjin caressed his face gently and Felix felt himself melting into the man's hand.

"I think I could fall for you if you were real." Felix whispered without bothering to have it translated. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow but didn't question it. He leaned forward and Felix could feel his warm breath on his own lips. He licked them nervously and saw Hyunjin's eyes lock onto his lips. He felt like he was burning up from the inside out. The other man's hand slid into his hair and his eyes asked if he could kiss Felix. They needed no translation for this at all. Felix nodded a bit shyly and the other man closed the distance. Just as he felt those warm lips touch his own, he woke up with a start. Felix froze in confusion and then felt the devastation of loss. Damnit. Even his own dreams worked against him. He spent the next several hours cycling between crying and trying to go back to sleep.

He called out of work for the next few days trying to sleep as much as possible to have a chance to see Hyunjin again, even resorting to taking sleep medication. Nothing worked. He had talked to his date and canceled on her explaining he wasn't in a good place and apologizing profusely. She took it well but he hadn't seen her again. He felt more alone than ever. When he returned to work, his hallowed emotionless face plead his case for sickness so much that he didn't get questioned about his absence. He floated through life, not even going to his dance class or taekwondo. Nothing held his interest but seeing Hyunjin again. The dream had become more than an obsession to him. It was the only place he felt he belonged.

He watched youtube videos trying to relax into sleep and sat up in shock when he saw Hyunjin's face go across his screen. He immediately flipped back to the video he had scrolled past. It was some teaser for a music video that was coming out soon. It was Hyunjin dancing and he did a move similar to the one Felix had shown him. He watched it again several times, his brain spinning. He then went and looked up the band. He found pictures of Hyunjin all over, always looking breathtakingly beautiful. He couldn't explain this. He supposed he had seen a video without paying much attention and had incorporated the real man into a dream without realizing it. He must have even copied a dance move he had seen. Felix couldn't imagine ever seeing Hyunjin and not locking his beauty into his memory but it was the only explanation. Wasn't it?