Opening Doors

Backstory

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**I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE MUSIC VIDEOS ATTACHED TO THESE STORIES! But they are great bands and songs, check them out!**

Before I jump into this... this is based on a true story, my story. For those part of my story know this is my perspective and how I saw/ see things. Times change, and people change. I'm going at this from my diary perspective. So if grammar bothers people, good! This is my diary, and diaries don't have editors. You don't like it, though. I'm not trying to impress anyone and all of this was not an easy thing to write. I'm not sugarcoating shit, and if people don't like what I have to say, that's a trauma you'll have to face on your own because that's probably why you're triggered. Now how to heal from traumas is not to avoid them but eventually confront them when you are emotionally ready. If you feel triggered ever, take a break, a breather, take a few days, and come back when you are ready and want to. If you don't want to read the rest of the story, you don't have to. And if you don't agree with all my thoughts and feelings on something, you don't have to. Just know this is my story, so I'm expressing my views on things. Not yours. And that's ok. You feel the way you do for a reason and never feel like you have to prove yourself to any certain person or thing. Be you! The best version of you, you can be! If that's not good enough for someone, sucks for them. You know? Just know whoever you are, I love you for you, just as you! Never give up on yourself and never apologize for being you!

Now, I'm trying to debate, if I want to go more into detail about my childhood or not... you get a brief summary here in a minute... but let's take a quick look at Merritt...

Merritt was my brother. We weren't blood-related. We were "adopted" siblings. So the fact, that I developed a huge love for this person over the course of my childhood, makes more sense and isn't gross. This guy looked out for me and protected me when he could. He always was the one to stand up for me and would do anything to make sure I was ok. See, the problem with this is, no one compared to him. And when he died when I was 17 in a motorcycle accident, my idea of love and everything in between was shattered. We grew up together and spent the majority of our childhood together. This was the hardest love for me to move on from, and the hardest to admit I actually felt love for. One second they're there, the next they're gone... 17 years of my life with him, now no more...

I don't really expect anyone to read this, and I don't really expect this to help anyone per se. But I do want to let this out there. One, for those who have suffered to know you aren't alone and I get it, and am here for you. I have come a LONG way and a lot of healing has taken place, but I had to go through the bad and sad to get to the happy and glad. Everything is a lesson and everything isn't just black and white. Even bad things are good things, because without them we don't learn anything and can't rise like the phoenix. You need that carpet to be swept under your feet a few times to keep you on your toes and to be more prepared for future times.

*** Remember the most important thing to remember going through this, is I'm not upset with anyone or anything that happened. Everything was an experience I had to learn to either learn from and grow from or clear karmic debt from many lifetimes in the making and ancestral curses in the past.***

As Merritt said once about me, "You're destined for greatness" and I may not see it, but he did and he was the first real love I had... RIP big brother... I hope I make you proud.

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Nizza wasn't your normal woman. She had gone through traumatic things in her life before, but what she was going through now, she was in denial of. She had overcome things like having an abusive father who would beat her and her mother up when she was a child from his excessive drinking where he would get black-out drunk... She had survived through being brought to her mother's side of the family and being molested... She had survived being bullied her whole childhood because she was different than everyone else. She was born different, she was born with a broken heart... Literally. She had a hole in her heart and if it wasn't repaired when it was, she would have died before she reached high school. Her parents fought constantly and her mom would always choose her dad over her. She was kicked out numerous times from home, just for existing. And was told by her parents that she was a slut, even though, at that time, she was still a virgin. If it weren't for her adopted family, she probably would have never had a stable head or seen what real love really was. This gave her hope and this triggered something in her.