Ex's & Oh's | Gojo Satoru ✓

➸ if gojo wasn't so good with his tongue, none of this would have happened

[Y/N]'s POV:

"I'll see you guys tomorrow!" I beam brightly as all of the students leave my classroom one by one, waving me goodbye along the way. As soon as the last student disappears down the hallway, I let out an extraordinarily long sigh, one that contains all the stresses from this entire week.

Today has been a long day. I had my second session with Dr. Keegan—in which he told me that he believed I still had feelings for Gojo and then we spent the rest of the hour arguing because I suddenly became defensive and I regret it. A lot. The thing is, a very small part of me knows that he's right, but the rational part of me refuses to believe or even acknowledge whatever feelings I could still have for him. In all honesty, I don't think I ever fully recovered from the breakup—nor did I ever really get over him. I remember the feeling of when I saw him for the first time since our breakup, when I first stepped foot into Tokyo, the very moment we locked eyes, I genuinely thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest and I had the most insane urge to run into his arms and embrace him like he didn't break my heart into a million brittle pieces. That's how I knew that it was just going to go downhill from there.

And yet—in that elevator, that goddamn fucking elevator, I was ready to let him do whatever he wanted to me. I was ready for him to break my heart a million times if it meant I could feel his hands on my skin for the rest of eternity. I will never deny the sexual, primal attraction we have for each other. It's always been like that, and something tells me that isn't going to change. Our interaction in the elevator wasn't even just purely sexual, though—it was intimate in more ways than one; it unlocked memories, too many memories of the pure passion and love we had for each other, and I fucking hate how much I wanted him then and how much I want him now.

This notion of attraction is so mysterious—it doesn't always make sense. But I think that you can see when people have a magnetism to each other if you look hard enough. And I think there is this element of mystery to it; that's why it's so exciting, and that's why there's something so special about Gojo and I's connection despite all of the bad things that come with it. I suppose the first step to realising exactly what I feel for my ex-boyfriend is acknowledging and admitting the addictive, compelling attraction that burns between us like an inextinguishable forest fire.

I can't help but shiver at the prospect of it all. I wish whatever feelings I had for Gojo could purely be just sexual, that would have made my life a hell of a lot easier—but no, I'm stuck in the feelings are complicated well and no matter how loud I shout, nobody can hear me, which means I'll probably be stuck down here for the rest of eternity and the only person I have to blame is that sick, sadistic, sexy bastard who is literally the bane of my existence. He has to be to make me spiral like this. I think I need to sniff a line.

No—I really need to sniff a line, because why can I hear the sound of one clearing their throat right now? And why is the sound manly, deep and sexy? And God help me, if I spin around and see Gojo fucking Satoru standing in the doorway with his muscular arms crossed over his chest then I swear I will call my dealer and order at least ten bags of cocaine. I just can't believe I let him do whatever he did to me in that goddamn elevator. I can't believe I let him kiss me a second time. I can't believe I kissed him back. I can feel the echo of his voice whispering dirty, lewd things in my ear reverberating through my soul; hot, wild, sexy, dominating.