Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 68

Turning my head, I listen for the sound of the shower, it would be a while before he could muster up the courage to get in and then go through the process of scrubbing the blood from his hands. He would be so involved, I doubt he would be listening. Turning my attention back to the group, it became clear to me that nobody else would stand up for the man I loved. 

Too much we relied on him, with his body in various states of disrepair and his mental state dwindling, my children needed him and I needed him so much more than the price the world was willing to pay. The only reason I lived was to be with him, without him, what was the meaning of suffering and establishing all that we worked so hard for? 

With a shakey sigh, I fold my hands in my lap. "Caspian."

The dark-haired man rolls his eyes and the violence it stirs in me frightens me. It was if my wolf had changed, turned in my favor, it loved him as much as I did. 

"You say you've changed? That you don't want to trap Verando in hell?"

"I'm not changed, per say. I'm... reformed in a sense. I still want to do things most would deem murderous, but I can now choose not to act on them. I can think around the violence, I feel bad for the pain I've caused." He speaks slow, clearly, as if he was defining for himself for the first time. 

Verando and I had briefly discussed the option of me taking Malka but magic was not worth 20 years en route to Hell. 

My eyes lock on Helen, she swallows hard, resting her back against her see with an expression that would haunt me. It was acceptance, that the torch must eventually be passed. It might kill her, she might fail, she might never be the same, but it was someone else's turn to go. "Verando can not keep doing this."

"Of course he can." Legardo scoffs. "He lives for this shit."

"Does he?" Tiberius frowns, he seems to be in agreement. Perhaps they weren't looking for my permission, they were looking for my guidance. I was a decorated war hero, I had more experience than anyone besides my husband, it would only make sense yet I couldn't see past my own shortcomings. "He's damaged."

"He's always been." Caspian scoffs. "We all are."

"Some less than others." Tiberius turns his attention to Helen and Legardo shakes his head. 

"No." It's the most he's ever sounded like his father. "No. Helen's not going to Hell, not with this demon, not with anyone, and certainly not in the place of the man who abandon me and Tonic." Raising his hand to stop her, he addresses the room. "I know he's changed, gods know he's better to those two boys than he ever was to me but I won't have it. I won't allow you to sacrifice my daughter in the place of a murderer. Why must others be corrupted when there is one who's already beyond return?"

I could see how it would make sense to him. I felt the same about Darrius, how could I hand him over to the universe? But, I would have to, someday. "You'd damn those two little boys to your same fate? Tonic chose to go. You chose to follow this path. Now it's someone else's turn to go. If it has to be me-"

Tiberius's eyes catch mine. "He will kill anyone who tries to stop him from getting to you. You're strong, but you've been corrupted before. If Lucifer gets a hold of you, if you succumb and become a vessel... It's not just Hell we must worry about but those who reside in it. Demons must have a vessel to come to this world, anyone can be tainted.. we have to think of damage control if that happens and Nic's already proven to be quite a force."

This seems to disgust Caspian. "Ol' Lucy won't want a thing to do with Nic here. That body is puny." 

"But powerful." Tiberius retorts back sharply. "Pure of heart," he repeats strongly.