Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 76

Tiberius rubs his temples, I pace quietly, trying not to alert Darrius to our sudden discovery that his adoptive father was potentially around. Darrius had an interesting ability to track him, but if Verando was truly inhabited by Fenrir then losing Darrius to the beast would be the worst of all options. Darrius had to keep believing that his father was gone, for all of our sakes. 

"Nobody but us needs to know about this, do you understand?" My voice is low, and short, this was non-negotiable. "Darrius can not figure this out, if he vanishes and tries to track him it's game over. Fenrir can not have access to the unicorn again. "

My wolf is at full attention, smashing at the cage, wanting out. I hold myself together the best that I can, running a hand slowly through my hair as I attempt to not lash out at everyone around me but most of all myself. How had I not noticed? How did I not see that this was a side of him that went beyond some simple demi-god?

Helen stops my pacing, placing a hand on my arm. I shrug her off, "Please don't touch me." I can't take it, not when I'm this wound up, not when my trauma comes flashing back so strongly in times like this. "I'm not freaking out, I'm not losing it, I'm just upset and I need you to not touch me."

"How are we going to find him?" I turn to Tiberius, uncomfortable with the closeness that Helen seemed to be pursuing. My first thought went to pack mentality, I was finally putting myself out there as my 'Alpha' wolf saw fit, it had to be luring in one of the only other lycans I considered somewhat tolerable. We craved companionship, I couldn't help but admit I was feeling lonely with Verando gone.

"Well. Your wolf is bonded to him, has it been trying to get to him at all?" Echo questions, much as I wanted her out of my life, she was the closest we had to a professional on the matter of instinct. There was a clear line our wolves were dividing, Tonic had drifted to my side of the room, Helen lingering close, while she was clearly on the other side. But, despite the heaviness in the air, her face gave nothing away. 

She was businesslike, this was her area of expertise when it came to lycan and wolf mentality. She was a true neutral, after all. 

"I don't know what to think of it, it just... hurts. It feels like my body is being split in half, it feels like I'm dying." The truth hurts almost as much as the pain of missing my soul mate. I glance over my shoulder, making sure Darrius was still oblivious. "I can hardly function."

"Well, if you truly are bonded to each other, then it's a wonder that you are even able to stand. Lycan's form life-long bonds, they will only bond like that to one being, it's more than just a relationship. It's the support system that keeps your pack strong, even if it's only a pack of two. Your wolf is probably spiraling, considering you don't have anyone else..." Judgment crosses her expression, she felt we lived too much like humans, no doubt. 

But lycan life was not what I wanted, I didn't trust anyone enough to let them get that close to me. Not with Darrius, not with how dangerous my family could be. "I have more family than you know." I spit back. My people just came in a variety of species. 

"Cute. But, not helping. If you had mastered your wolf, you'd be able to track him. But, it seems you're still almost exactly where I left you." 

I grab the kitchen knife off the counter and Helen steps in front of me, I was seeing red, in a mental fog as I approached in short steps of decided fury. Helen's body blocking mine pulled me back out of the inferno. 

"Impulsive." Echo scoffs. 

I narrow my eyes, stabbing the knife into the countertop. "Don't mistake bold moves for impulsion. I fully intended to cut your throat, I was just confident enough to know that it didn't matter if you expected me or not. I wanted to see the look in your eyes as you realized I was intending to gut you." My wolf comes through, the threat tasted like sweet honey on my tongue.