Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 141

Sitting quietly in the car, I run my hand through my hair as I wait impatiently for him to finish up with the receptionist. My stomach was in knots from the stress and I'd be lying if I didn't say I was mildly worried about the impact on the life growing inside me. Lifting my phone,  for a few quiet moments,I contemplate calling the children but I need a more solid plan before I involve them in this. 

What had Verando said? I'd be trading out with Rowan...

 My hand slides down my body, slowly moving to cup over my stomach as I prop my elbow up on the ledge of the door and stare back at the exhausted expression watching me. 

Slowly, my mind was coming to terms with the idea that he would have to go with someone else to train for this ability. There were things I could do, but I was reaching my limit. A different version of me, one that was less selfish perhaps, would have been a better candidate than my current self. The cuff glints back at me, taunting me with the decision to go forward with bringing a life into this world.

I was racked with the relentless guilt that it was easier to pass him off. I was tired. 

So damn tired. 

My body felt as though it weighed as much as the very car I sat in. My stomach rolled and twisted, making me wonder if I was about to be nauseous or just hungry. The circles under my eyes did little for any hope of being found even mildly attractive, how did I go from a night of unbridled passion to feeling like a street urchin? 

With a chuckle, I pinch the bridge of my nose. Why did I care if he found me attractive? We'd seen each other soaked in blood and mud, grit and grime, beaten and battered. Yet here I was, plucking absently to highlight any semblance of structure under the heavy sweater.

Shifting awkwardly in my clothes, pulling myself together as I see him approaching though it takes no effort to see that he'd noticed my state. The concern creases the corner of his mouth but he says nothing. Climbing into the car, Verando turns on the engine and I try not to key in on the stillness in his body. 

While he still had his own scent, it was muddied with the vacancy of potent blood and life. Would it eventually disappear entirely?

My husband really did die that night, the person sitting beside me was the remnant of that raging desire to live. 

We'd survived through so much, unable to be stopped even when the gods themselves willed it, but in the end, I remained as his weakness. When I finally allow myself to glance up, I find that he's watching me, concerned as his eyes scan over every inch of my somber expression. 

"I'm fine. Just a miscalculation of the job, I suppose." His tone is low and soft. It was easier to explain away the moment of weakness, even to me, he did not like to be vulnerable. This was uncharted territory, magic, and its uses had never been a friend to him. I recall at one point, he'd wanted so badly to be human. Now, he was even further from that. 

"Are you alright?"

I can't help but scoff. "I'm a bit of an emotional mess," I admit.

I earn my favorite expression, dimpling his cheek. "Pregnancy will do that to you beyond the shit show that is this series of events. You hardly ate, I imagine you're famished." 

We'd gotten good at taking care of each other.

While I was hungry, more than anything I was an inferno. My body had finally accepted that it was changing, so it'd decided the next course of action was to boil me alive. "Can I have your hand?" I managed finally, for all I wanted at this point was to cool down. 

Offering me his palm, I cup the back of his hand to press the cold digits into the flesh of my cheek with a welcomed sigh of relief. 

Leaning into the smoothness of his hand, I could almost melt here, surely I was steaming from the amount of heat I was putting off. "There are plus's and minus's. This is definitely a plus." I tell him with a small smile, "Now I see why you liked me so much in the beginning, I could cool you down. I remember thinking you felt like the sun itself with how hot you were."