Find me in your pages | THE WATTYS 2023

Chapter 1:

Unang taon ko pa lang sa paaralan na Ito. Senior highschool, grade 12 na arts and design student. Sining ang aking hilig, ang pangalan ay Xerena. Hindi man ako kasing galing nang ibang manunulat sa aking klase, o kasing galing gumuhit ni Lucas na isang mapagmataas na studyante, pero sa ganitong paraan, kahit papano ay aking napapakita sa aking mga likha ang aking nararamdaman. Minsan ginagawa ko nga lang Ito na hobby pero kadalasan, sa pagsusulat ko pinapakita ang mga bagay na hindi ko masabi sa iba. Tulad nang pag gawa ng mga tula at maiikling istorya. "Ang tagal naman mag lunch break. Nakakainip." Pagrereklamo ko habang nakikinig sa aking guro. Hindi ko naman talaga nais makinig, pero kaylangan para sa pagangat nang aking marka. Hindi naman ganon kataas pero syempre, gusto ko parin naman makapasa. The bell finally rang, dali dali akong tumayo habang kinukuha ang aking bag at lumabas nang aking classroom. Wala naman akong kaibigan, first week pa lang naman nang klase kaya ayos lang, pero mas maigi kung wala talaga para naman maging payapa ang utak ko. They're so annoying pa naman, sometimes.

"Hey, your name is Xerena right? I saw you look so annoyed kanina sa class, mind if I tag along?" Nakanagising banggit sakin ni Lucas. This is it. The actual definition of irritating. As much as I want to deny it to myself, sya ang una kong kaibigan sa klase. Nakakairita sya but it's bearable naman, but still. He's annoying, and noisy. "Come on Rena, don't be so cold. Alam ko namang nagwagwapuhan ka sakin di mo naman kaylangan itago."

And I lost it. "Excuse me? I like girls at higit sa lahat hindi kita type at ang pangit mo kaya. Mas gwapo pa ako sayo. As if!" Inirapan ko sya habang naglalakad kami sa hallway, nakabuntot lang sya sakin na parang aso, see? That's the popular guy, tailing me like he's my pet. Nakakahiya pero ginusto nya yan. Inaamin ko naman na gwapo sya at popular lalo na sa mga babae sa aming paaralan, but never in my life would I dream of having a relationship with him. I haven't liked someone yet, wala pang babae na kumukuha nang atensyon ko, well, I'm single pero masaya parin naman ako. It's hard being bisexual that only likes girls, sabi nila I'm a lesbian, pero hindi ako sigurado doon. Wag silang desisyon.

"Sung it more naman, anyways, what do you want for lunch, my treat?"

"Libre mo? What's the catch?"

"Walang catch, come on Xerena. Did you really assume na ganoong klaseng tao ako?"

"Maybe I just did. I can afford my own lunch, but I won't buy. Nagluto na kasi ako, sayang lang pera kung bibili. Kala mo naman ginto kakagatin mo sa sobrang mahal." Reklamo ko habang tumapat sa locker ko, nilagay ko ang aking mga libro doon, para naman hindi mabigat bag ko habang naglalakad at habang pauwi. I have asthma, I can't risk carrying heavy things for too long. "Buuut...pwede kitang samahan kumain, it doesn't seem like you're gonna stop tailing me like a lost puppy. Nakakaawa ka naman kasi kung kakain ka magisa." I was only joking and teasing him with a smirk, halatang nahihiya sya sa mga sinabi ko dahil alam nya na maraming May gusto na sya ang kasama pag lunch while here I am, trying to push him away by being rude. If he can keep up with my attitude, I might keep him as well.

As a friend of course.

Umupo kami sa cafeteria, I can feel the intense stares but it's not like I care about it. I just hope they'll realize I'll never be into Lucas. For me, he might just be a good friend, but other than that? Wala. Even if I was straight hindi ko parin sya gugustuhin. He's like a brother to me, even if we just met four days ago. "So...Bakit pala arts and design kinuha mong track? Sa talas nang dila mo and pagiging pala sagot, humss suits you better?"

"I'm a writer Lucas. And an artist. Siguro naman alam mo na ngayon ang dahilan kung bakit." I didn't say much because what I told him just now explains everything already. "I...stopped writing for the meantime. Writer's block, but I'll get back naman when I feel much better, and Syempre if may idea ba ulit ako about what I should write about. Siguro kung in love ako ngayon, I'd be writing a novel." Biro ko na may halong tawa, alam ko namang hindi ako sisipagin magsulat Kahit na May dumating pa sa buhay ko bilang inspirasyon.