Find me in your pages | THE WATTYS 2023

Chapter 11:

I hung out more with Silvestre and Cleo after the break up. Two months puro sa kanila ako sumasama. I came over to Cleo's house every once in a while to see Gwen as well who was so focused on her studies.

A typical Friday night, after every exams na ginagawa namin, I ended up here in this bar. Hey only let me drink wine to try but not too much dahil 'bata' pa daw ako. I'm just a minor but I know how to drink, pero syempre sinusunod ko parin naman sila Silvestre dahil baka may mangyari nga naman sa akin. They will be responsible for me. "Malapit na ang birthday ni Lucas? This Sunday ah. Will you attend? Nandoon na nga lang si Nikolai?"

I forgot about that bastard's name after some time. After all, puro sarili ko lang ang inuuna ko recently. Tama nga si Taylor Swift sa All too well nya. I forgot about Nikolai for long enough, that I forgot why I needed to.

"It's not like I give a fuck about his presence. Is it my loss? No." Sagot ko kay Tres, it was Lucas' birthday, not Nikolai's. I'm attending for my dear friend, not to see my stupid cheating ex boyfriend.

Gods, even his name disgusts me already.

I crossed my legs and took a sip from the wine Cleo poured for me earlier. "Wow. You did have a sudden character development." Bulong ni Tres after he got to hear my words. Development? Not really, this was who I am before Nikolai messed up my life.

"Not really."

"Are you okay though? You look sick recently kaya!" Pagaaalala pa ni Cleo sa akin habang umiinom kasabay ko. "You're not having a fever naman, want me to take care of you?"

"It's..It's not needed but thank you for your concern. I'm fine." Pagsisinungaling ko. I wasn't really fine, I wasn't feeling myself recently, ever since the break up. I was a bit...Harsher when it comes to talking or with my own words. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit biglang ganito but maybe it's because I was hurt and I'm aggressive towards everyone?

Still. I know it was no reason for me to be a complete bitch towards anyone.

I remained silent the entire time and only hummed response when necessary. Wala akong gana makipagusap, I feel drained for some reason. Socially and mentally drained. "You don't seem good, Xerena. Gusto mo na bang umuwi?" Nagaalala na tanong sa akin ni Cleo.

"I'm fine. Thank you, I can stay for a while. I'm just thinking about a lot of things right now." Bulong ko sa kaniya.

Things took a turn for the worse. I should lift up my mood para maging ayos ang mood ko sa birthday ni Lucas this coming Sunday. "Do you guys think I don't deserve love? At all?" Bigla kong tanong sa dalawa.

"Nagpapakasadboy ka na naman dyaan. Syempre you deserve love. Maybe Nikolai was just not the right guy for you." Sagot ni Tres sa akin.

Their words do make sense. And I believe it. Maybe he was just the wrong guy for me. He was never the right person for me. But he was a good pretender, that's what he is. "Tres is right! You still deserve love you know? Just need to be in the right time." Dagdag pa ni Cleo sa sinabi ni Tres sakin.

It's not bad if I try again di ba? Maybe I shouldn't completely lose hope in love and romance.

"I'll think about trying to be in a relationship again." I was still hesitant about it, not even sure if someone would actually want me just the way I am like Nikolai did.

No.

I should stop thinking about our relationship before. It's not good to enter another relationship just to compare it to my previous one. It's just toxic and I hate it. "May reto ako sayo, so you should go see her soon."

"Her?"

"I thought you liked girls eh parang natipuhan ka din ata ni Ayesha. Don't tell me naging straight ka na nang dahil kay Nikolai." Pagbibiro sa akin ni Tres.