Find me in your pages | THE WATTYS 2023

Chapter 26:

"She fucking puked..." Nandidiring bulong ni Syg. Dahan dahan kong dinilat ang mata ko to find that I was back on our table, binabantayan ni Syrius at ni Cianna like they were my parents. "Y'all should really watch over her when she drinks."

"What the fuck happened?" Inis kong bulong sa sarili ko. My head still hurts, maybe I passed out a while ago at hindi ko lang namalayan. "Hey. I asked a question..."

"You walked straight to Cleo and confessed your feelings, telling her you miss her, you still love her, that if you die you'd find her in another—" Tinakpan bigla ni Tres ang bibig ni Rainne bago nya ituloy. "Silvestre what the fuck?!"

I said that? Tangina. Nakakahiya...In front of her husband. "Ah. I see..."

"Harvey and Cleo left after that. Cleo was...Crying." Syg informed. I'm sure it was because of me. "You should talk to Cleo about your feelings, Xerena. It's not right to just keep it inside."

"It doesn't even matter kung mahal ko pa sya o hindi na. Syg, she's already married with someone, what I feel is no longer valid, kahit ano pang gawin ko. It would only make me look like I want to steal her kahit Hindi naman talaga." Reklamo ko, I did have a point though. It's not like it actually matters to me and Cleo anyways. There's no point in trying. "Her father doesn't agree to us, the deal I had ended a year ago, I should be moving on right now...Finding a new partner...Pero nagpipigil ako, hindi ko lang talaga alam kung bakit."

"Isn't it obvious for you yet?" Umpisa ni Rainne. "You have to let go of what you feel, you have to tell her, get a closure, you need to talk to her one last time, Xerena. Communication, you two? You don't have that." Sermon ni Rainne sa akin. I couldn't help but agree, may point si Rainne. We lack communication after that breakup.

I need to get myself ready before I talk to her. "You should go home, so you can rest." Saad ni Cianna as she drank from her glass filled of red wine. "You need it."

"I'll drive her home." Alok ni Lucas bago nya kunin ang sling bag ko na nasa table lang namin. "I drank enough, hindi ako lasing, I can drive so don't worry."

Tumango na lang ako at lumabas kasama si Lucas. I felt so stressed and confused. Alcohol can be a total bitch sometimes. "You'll be fine...You can tell her when you're finally ready naman." Bulong ni Lucas sa akin bago nya ako pagbuksan nang pinto. "There's plenty of time to get ready. No need to rush, especially this is a hard decision to make."

I only hummed out my response. I'll take my time. If that's what it takes to let go of her...To set myself free.

"We told you before, Xerena. Face to your feelings, if you don't, mastastuck ka lang dyan. Nothing good will happen, I'm telling you that."

"I know, Lu. No need to remind me twice...nadala lang ako nang galit ko..." Aminado akong mali yung ginawa ko noong oras na iyon. I didn't want to put all the blame on her when I'm also at fault in our relationship. It's not right. "Tell me...Did I really deserve all this, Lucas? All the heartbreaks...Misunderstandings...Do you think I deserve everything that is happening to me right now?"

"Of course not. Bakit mo naman naisip yan? Is it because my brother cheated on you? Because Cleo used to make fun of you before you both apologized to each other?"

"Yeah. That...Kasi I know I'm trying my best but whenever I do, destiny finds a way to ruin everything for me in the most painful way possible." Matamlay ko na sagot kay Lucas. "Like...Getting cheated on...Hindi payag ang magulang...The love that formed because of a stupid dare...Nakakatangina."

Lucas understood me, halata na iyon sa tingin nya pa lang. He always did. "Maybe...In this universe, it's meant to happen. Maybe in some other universe...You're still with Cleo, or...Nikolai never cheated. Maybe for now, you need someone else that isn't them."