Mrs. Araneta

Chapter XXI: Catherine 👩🏻‍🦰

Note: I think you should listen to the song entitled Broken Vow before reading this chapter.

"Tell me her name
I want to know
The way she looks
And where you go

I need to see her face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end"

***
Change.

No one dares welcomes it with open arms when it happened. We all dread it. That terrifying feeling of having to go out of your comfort zone to search for and to experience something else. The fear and the loneliness change brings no one wants to talk about.

But change, one way or another is exactly what we need for progress. To be able to see things in a new light, to be able to discover strengths we never knew we have. Because at some point, no matter how painful changes can be, it's the only way for us to grow. The universe is funny that way.

It takes loneliness for us to appreciate happiness.
It takes weakness for us to discover our strengths.
It takes absence for us to value someone's presence.
It takes pain and suffering for us to truly understand love.

Because sometimes, as hard as you try to hold on to, loving someone isn't always about fighting for them. The changes you have to endure, the battles you have to face, the sacrifices you have to make.. they're not always what love means.

As painful as some changes may be, despite your best intentions, you just have to let go. You just have to let go and realize that no matter how strong, no matter how great your love is.. life in the end, wins anyway.

And as one embraces the changes in their lives, as we let go of the things we are desperately trying to hold on to, as we accept defeat to those things we fought so hard for, that's when we allow ourselves to accept the changes we dread having.

Life isn't always about winning.
Love isn't always about fighting.

***
February 1997, Valentine's day

After the celebration of Clea's birthday, everything between Irene and Greggy has changed. And Irene is privy about it. Though she keeps denying it, she keeps fighting it, she knows she's loosing the battle. If there's one ultimate truth about the truth? It would be, it hurts. So we lie. We lie to other people, we lie to ourselves. We take comfort from the things that we do not know. We hope for some miracle for things to go back the way it was, because that's the only way for us to survive. But no amount of hope from lying would suffice. And she knows that. But she have to carry on. It's not just for her. It's for her daughter. Most importantly for her Clea.

***
IRENE's POV:

Have you ever felt this way? This feeling? Nasa tabi mo, pero parang ang layo layo nyo sa isa't isa. Alam mo na nandyan lang, ikaw ang kasama.. pero iba ang nasa isip nya? I have been dealing with this for a month now. After Clea's birthday, Greggy is spending more and more time outside of the house. Either he'd say he's doing extra works that would make him come home late, or he is not going to be home at all.

Friday. That's when I have to lie to Clea about her father for not being here.

I have a lot of questions in my head. But I am too scared to find out. I have no strength to ask all about them. If one thinks, it hurts not knowing, try living when you know it all. And as I sit with Greggy laying beside me, I cannot help but wonder, what went wrong? How can a person go from loving someone to hurting that person in a snap? If I have a choice, aalis naman na ako dito. This house is so big, but it's making me feel like a prisoner. My only concern? Si Clea. Wala namang nanay na hindi gagawin ang lahat para sa anak nya, diba? So with all the broken million pieces of my heart, I carry on.