Give Life Meaning...

James Alexei Buchanan Barnes

     The whole situation was bizarre and frustrating, and the adjustment in the compound wasn't progressing quickly either. Steve was giving Natasha a few hours away from the twins, and that's what they were, according to Bruce, so that she could get a break. It was approaching the third week, and while Alina shared easy smiles with himself and Natasha, she still shied away from the others, and James hadn't made much progress at all. Physically he was fine and appeared to be on target for his age, if not a little advanced due to the super soldier serum in his blood, which made no sense to Steve. As far as he was aware, Bucky had never been given any, but he did know that Zola was experimenting on him when he was found. So maybe that's where they got it from.

     It was weighing heavily on Natasha about James, and it weighed heavily on him that somehow Bucky had more stolen from him. It was adding to the fact he couldn't bring happiness to James. He stared so sullenly around him and made no move to interact. Bruce had theorized it had to do with Alina being as hurt as she was. Even at her age, she took on the beatings and tried to protect her brother. James was afraid of causing any more pain. It was also suggested that maybe they start taking them outside, exploring a bit, and introducing them to new things. This led him to pack up the wagon that Clint had brought to lug them around the compound grounds. "Okay, kids, let's see what we can find," it was early enough that those that worked in the compound were inside and wouldn't overwhelm them two, but late enough that any chill that may have been outside was gone. Alina was a super soldier baby but had apparently inherited some ability to get sick, and he didn't want that happening again. 

     Steve Rogers took them down the elevator, fussed with the blankets that were in the wagon for comfort, and adjusted the bookbag he had that held a variety of snacks and diapers. When he got far away enough from the compound, he chose the softest patch of grass and placed the bag down. Alina looked up at him with her green eyes wide with anticipation, life had come back to her after discovering the drawing tablet, and Steve was relieved to know she trusted him. He had agonized about taking them out of the compound building. They could be vulnerable to Hydra attack while out in the open, or he could do something horribly wrong, and one of them could get hurt on his watch outside. Clint just patted him on the back and told them it would be suitable for the twins as if that made the decision. Clint Barton had been right. It being good for the twins did make the decision despite his discomfort. "Come on, Princess, you first," she would be the calmer of the two. He predicted and lifted her out of the wagon and gently placed her on the ground. He ensured the clothes were warm enough for them and their legs covered. Steve thought the shock of the grass on their legs might send them into fits. 

     Alina froze in her sitting position on the ground. Her hands raised, uncertain about touching the grass beneath her. It wasn't like the metal cage she was kept in with her brother; while cool, it wasn't a brutal cold. She looked up at the man who had begun taking care of her and slowly put her hand down to touch the grass, letting out a squeaky at the slightly pokey sensation. Steve chuckled even as James looked over at his sister in alarm. "It's okay, you two. This is grass. It won't hurt you," in theory, it wouldn't hurt them, but he had known people to be allergic to too much exposure. He hoped that the serum protected them against it. "Come on, little man, let's sit you down." As predicted, James resisted the change of places to sit. He made a disgruntled noise before suddenly doing something Steve wasn't prepared for. James kept his legs up and away from the grass. "Come on, buddy, it's okay." James looked up with stark terror in his eyes, on the edge of tears, and Steve took a deep breath. 

     Steve sat down on the grass beside Alina and placed James on his lap. "There we go, James," he cooed gently before scooping Alina up and placing her on his other lap to make them feel content. He noted that James immediately settled against him but was tense, noting that the mysterious green stuff still surrounded them. "This is grass. It can be pokey, but it's nice to sit on." While keeping his arm behind Alina's back, he plucked a piece of grass and held it up to him. He held his breath as James reached out with his tiny hand and touched the blade of grass. 

     James gasped at the feel of the smooth edge, and then the corners of his lips quirked upwards. Steve froze, hardly breathing, as James fully grasped the blade of grass. His sullen blue eyes sparked with life, and Alina reached over and patted his leg, causing James to look up, and she reached down and touched the grass on the ground. Steve looked at James, who considered his sister for a moment before slowly reaching down and touching the grass. The little boy transformed in front of his eyes. Cautious excitement went through the boy's body as he felt the grass. "Yeah, see, it won't hurt you," Steve spoke softly, completely thrown off guard when the twins looked at each other and then hurried off his lap. They both were on their hands and knees, just feeling the sensation between their fingers and on their clothed legs. James leaned over and brushed the grass over his face eliciting a giggle from him and his sister, who moved to do the same.  

     Steve sat there shocked, thrilled and choked on the rising emotion from watching the two. Clearly, they depended on each other, but it was the life that sprung to James' eyes. Suddenly he discovered life, which was a punch to the gut. They were so young, and they knew nothing about being a kid, but here the two of them were enjoying the grass. "I hope you can see them, buddy," Bucky had talked about settling down and having a family before being experimented on. From there, it was more mission after mission, a few drinks but talks about the future had stopped. He deserved to have had a chance to be a father. Steve loved James, but he would have happily played Uncle Steve too. 

     "James?" A voice called softly, causing Steve to look up and see Natasha head their way. 

     "Turns out James likes the outdoors," Steve responded, seeing James lift himself up from the ground and smile at Natasha, his sullen expression being transformed. "He's going to be okay, Nat. He really is." Steve didn't know for whose benefit he said that, but a tear slipped down his face as Natasha kneeled in front of the boy so as not to tower over him. 

     "Of course he is," she soothed softly, reaching out and touching James' dark head and smiling. "He's our strong boy." Natasha looked up at Steve and beamed at him before watching Alina experimentally walk on the uneven ground. 

     "You're doing so well, Princess," Steve told her, laughing as she nearly stumbled. "Yeah, not smooth like our room, huh?" Despite the chaos, the uncertainty, and the absurd amount of doubt in themselves, it felt right to sit in a field watching the children explore.