Give Life Meaning...

Baby Steps

     Steve and the others parted with Clint the following day, soaking in the moments with the twins. Both seemed happier now that their parents were back with them, or Steve assumed they knew. Words were still far, and few in-between, and Clint reassured him that considering where they had been, it might take a while for them to reach typical toddler milestones. Not that any part of their situation was normal. Boarding the jet had been an uneventful affair, considering how they left it when they arrived. Alina and James were held securely by their parents, with the others coming up behind them. 

     "Wow, Rogers, you pull off the diaper bag and baby carrying well," Tony said in the quiet of the jet as they took off. Steve merely side-glanced the man, not turning his face entirely away from Alina, who was shifting anxiously on this lap. "What? It's not a bad thing. You'll have all the ladies in America drooling after you." 

     "What? Why?" Steve did turn to look at Tony this time, trying to find the correlation between women liking him and babies. "I'm just being the father I'm supposed to be." Natasha chuckled beside him, causing him to look at her. Her amused gaze didn't help his confusion because clearly, he was missing something. 

     "Cap," Natasha said, tickling James slightly as she tried to find the words that explain what Tony meant without patronizing him. "Society is still a bit old-fashioned in that way... Women are still expected, on most levels, to give up careers, have babies, and raise them while the husband does all the work and has some hand in raising, but it still rests on the woman's shoulders." She could see the shock in the blue eyes before cold rage took hold. While some wouldn't notice, she did. His body tensed just enough to show he was on edge to the perceptive person. 

     "Really?" Steve spat, turning to look at Tony before at the rest of the group on the jet, who had grown suddenly uncomfortable by his reaction. "So we've come far, but women are still expected to marry, settle, and have babies? Women have jobs now, so what? They are just expected to handle it all?"

     "Rogers, calm down. All right? We know you're not going to be like that," Tony spoke up from his seat, seeing the twins starting to react to the tense atmosphere. "Those two have you wrapped around their little fingers." Natasha grabbed ahold of Steve's arm, gripping hard enough he looked down at her. 

     "It doesn't matter what the world expects, all right?" Natasha told him, lowering her voice to keep the twins from falling into a full-blown meltdown. "Just means that I'm going to have to make sure people aren't throwing themselves at you, that's all." Steve was still perturbed by the insinuation that he was even more attractive for doing what any parent should do. He shifted Alina to one side of his lap, keeping an arm around her and wrapping Natasha with his free arm pulling her close. He kissed the top of her red hair and looked down at James, who had settled into Natasha's arms. He vaguely heard Tony loudly whisper to Thor, wondering what they were exactly. Steve knew they hadn't put a name on it, but they were his family. 

     Over the past two weeks, Natasha noticed that Steve tried broaching a subject only to back away from it last minute. She was getting a little annoyed with his avoidance of the issue, and he was clever enough to avoid any verbal traps she placed. He was staring again from across the tower's shared living area. Both Alina and James were enthralled by a show on the tv that Tony had put on. She vaguely recalled that it was called Bluey, overly bright cartoon animals with life lessons, Steve approved. He watched a few episodes before being satisfied it was safe. They made a mistake with an excessively colorful, seemingly innocent cartoon called Happy Tree Friends. Cutesy animals end up dying in horrific horrible ways. The twins screamed in terror, sobbed, and then wouldn't let them sleep for a few days. Natasha couldn't be annoyed. He was overly cautious. Who knew navigating children's cartoons would be a minefield?

    "You just going to keep staring, Rogers? Or are you going to say what's on your mind?" Natasha called from the chair, folding her arms as she took in his grimace. His leg was bouncing anxiously over in the corner staring at her. 

     "I don't-" Steve was cut off by Natasha's scoff, looking at her stiff form and squaring his shoulders. "Okay, so I do, but I don't know how to bring it up, Nat." 

     "Just say it, Rogers," she bit out, suddenly a bit anxious that he may have changed his mind about them being a team. It was the closest they got to put a label on their relationship. 

    "I think we should move out," Steve told her rushed, his blue eyes taking in how wide her eyes got after his words sank in. "I think... Let us try living in a real house, with a real yard for the twins." 

     "What brought this on? I thought we fought Tony to stay here. I thought you wanted to stay at the tower," Natasha had to admit the last part even sounded farfetched to her. Steve never explicitly said he wanted to stay at the tower. It was just the fight for the right to raise their kids. If Natasha really thought about it, they never spoke about the future with the twins. They never broached any talk past a few weeks in advance. 

     "I know Hydra is still out there, and I think they'll always be out there in some form," Steve bulldozed forward, standing up and approaching her but careful not to block the kids' vision of the TV. "We can protect them, though. We rarely ever leave them, and when we do, it is always with someone from the team. Labs and tech surround them... Agents roam the building. They're not getting to be kids, and I think an apartment wouldn't hold up well with two super soldier toddlers." The words seemed to tumble out of his mouth faster than his brain could keep up. Usually, he wasn't nervous about a plan, but this was different. He was asking the mother of his child-children to move in with him. 

     "Where would we live, Steve? Is there anything in our price range? I thought you liked living in New York?" Natasha wasn't trying to say no outright, and she wanted him to think about it before committing to it. Her initial reaction was to squirm uncomfortably because it felt like another commitment. Was she ready to commit to something else? 

     "Actually, Tony and I were talking about it. I asked if he would help me design a house for us. Never lived in, new just for our family," he told her, glancing at the twins who were still enraptured by the show. "It can have security too, safer than the average home. We can make it small or big depending on your preference." That was the sensitive part of the conversation. Natasha couldn't have more kids, and they weren't officially anything, so he couldn't assume adoption was in their future. Or, with two super soldier kids, if they would want to adopt more. 

     "What happened to one step at a time?" Natasha asked breathlessly. Steve was painting quite the picture. Perhaps they weren't flowery words he'd use in a speech, but they were enough to entice her to dream, just a little, of what their own home may be like. It was a dream that felt almost out of reach. It was nearly unthinkable, considering she was a Widow. Widows didn't have families and homes. Natasha stood up to walk over to Steve, who was looking at her with a renewed look of determination. "How do we begin to build a house, Steve? We've never had a project like that before. How do we even begin to decide?" When she got close enough, Steve reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist. She melted to his touch, feeling a sense of security as long as he held her. The world couldn't tear them apart if they were together. 

     "Baby steps," Steve spoke softly, leaning down and catching her lips with his own and pulling away to look her in the eyes. "We start with discussing what we'd like, make decisions on that, and then speak to Tony. He's willing to help us design a house, but if you're with me on this, then we need to have a house that makes us both happy. But... Baby steps for now, so, Natasha Romanoff, will you build a house with me?" He asked, giving her his side grin. 

     "Yes, Steve Rogers, I would love to build a house with you," she spoke softly, pulling him down for an even longer kiss. Her heart was pounding, and her stomach was filled with nervous flutters. Natasha nearly jerked in surprise. She was happy. Her pounding heart, fluttery stomach, and an obnoxious grin that inched its way to the surface all pointed to her being happy.