Give Life Meaning...

Decisions

     Natasha swallowed her bitter response to Steve. He was trying to be open, and pushing him away wouldn't help her any. "Why aren't you mad that your life has changed so drastically then!?" Nat was determined to find an imperfection in his answer, and everything was just so reasonable that it was bugging her. Her question just made him shrink back a little, not because he didn't know how to answer but because she was determined to be angry. 

     "I'm not angry because when I look at them, I just see the pain they've gone through, the pain you went through," Steve said, pausing as he thought about his answer. "I'm angry, but not because I suddenly became a parent overnight. I've always learned to roll with change. That's all I've been able to do. If I hadn't just gone with the change, I don't know where I would be now." He remembered waking up from his seventy-year nap, and Steve also remembered what it felt like to hit the water and the cold water seep into the jet, filling his lungs... Steve shook his head. 

     "So you expect me to believe that you're just 'rolling with it," the look told Natasha he did, and she scoffed. 

     "Nat, I told you last night," Steve swallowed, not wanting to think of what may happen next. Being a parent wasn't on his list, and the idea of losing Natasha in any capacity shattered him, but the kids came first. He finally took a deep breath and allowed himself to gaze at her solemnly, taking in her defensive stance, seeing the fear play in her eyes. "I get that you're scared. I do. I'm not going to force you to do anything, but you have to understand what that would mean for... Us." 

     "What are we? We've never been...." Natasha shot back and floundered in the end. She couldn't think of how to describe what they were or could have been without screwing up. 

     "We never put a name on it, but I like to think we're together," in a fashion, at least. Steve was aware of the way she grew up and knew that she lived life as unattached as she could get. Steve put the ax down and stuffed his hand down his pockets. "I like to think we were building something like a life together." At least until Natasha threw herself into the fight and took so many unnecessary risks, realizing that she was doing it on purpose was certainly a punch to the gut. 

     "What would this life include, Steve?" Natasha crossed her arms over her stomach, eyes filling with tears trying to fall down her cheeks. 

     "I imagined a house sort of like this, maybe not exactly," Steve corrected, looking at all the lands around him. He was a Brooklyn boy at heart, but he questioned how well one could raise two super soldier babies in an apartment without an excessive amount of damage. "A place the kids could play, have their own room. A collection of books we could read to them." He paused as Natasha let out a bitter chuckle. 

     "You want a normal family? We can't give that to them!" Tony's words echoed inside her skull. "They'll never have it with what they are!"

     "I don't want normal," Steve spoke harshly, eyes dark with pent-up anger at her continuing to push it on him. "I want a family. We work, and it's dangerous, but we act smart about it! We get to come home to our kids! Their Uncle Clint takes them sometimes, and we make this world safer for them. I want to do it together." His shoulders hunched a bit more as he wrestled all of the emotions begging to be released but couldn't. Steve had always been the man with a plan, and it wouldn't do anyone any good for him to show what he was feeling. 

     "You know... I'm not housewife material, and Clint won't even let me near a stove," she spoke softly, looking her super soldier over and seeing him jerk in response. Surprise and hope were bright in his blue eyes. 

     "Good thing I'm not looking for a housewife. I'm looking for a partner," Steve told her, allowing his smile to return to his face. "I can't cook either. It looks like we both need to learn a new skill. How do you feel about sharing a bed?" They both ignored a surprised cough coming from Clint on the porch.

     "I wouldn't want it any other way. I happen to find you very comfortable," Natasha moved forward, reaching out slowly with one hand and gently grasping his. He hadn't removed them from his pockets, but he was more relaxed. 

     "Even if people start to question your honor?" His teasing tone shocked Natasha into laughter. She shook her head as her shoulders shook with mirth. 

     "Are you worried about yours? I don't think anyone would bat an eye if I left a man's room," she informed him, giving him a wink before gripping his hand tighter. "Don't worry. I'll protect your sparkly reputation." She smiled before shock fell over her when a strong hand grabbed her chin, forcing her to look him straight in the face. 

     "I don't care what anyone thinks of me," he told her, voice dropping as Steve stepped closer, pulling his hand from her grasp and wrapping it around her narrow waist. "I sure as hell don't care if people approve of my choices when it comes to you or the twins." His grave tone spoke of the underlying promise. That was something he'd stake his life on it. 

     "Kiss me," Natasha gasped, tilting her head as his lips crashed hard on hers. She expected him to be unsure, but he was confident, coaxing and melding his lips to her. Her chest heaved as she wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to pull him even closer to her. 

     Steve hadn't known what possessed him other than her telling him to kiss her. He would have happily obliged any additional time, but this was a serious conversation. Pulling away, he let his forehead lead against hers as his chest heaved with built-up emotions. "Is this your way of saying you'll be staying around?"

     "I'm not going anywhere, Rogers. I'm afraid you're stuck with me now," she told him, burying her face in his chest as he wrapped her in his arms. 

     "I'm okay with that. I didn't want to do it without you," he admitted softly, not to mention trying to raise both of them as a single dad. The team would help, but Steve wanted Natasha to be involved no matter how scary it was.