Give Life Meaning...

Disaster

It hadn't even been two weeks since Natasha agreed to build a house with Steve and she was already overwhelmed. Steve wasn't pushing anything, even in his excitement to provide some kind of stability for the twins he wasn't pushing her into the planning. No, she thought she could venture out on her own and gather intel. The moment she walked into a regular home improvement store she was approached and asked if she needed anything, and she took the opportunity to ask questions. That was how she ended up surrounded by a group of people throwing advice from all corners because there wasn't just one expert. A disaster, it was ending up as a disaster. 

The plumbing 'expert' was prattling on about the differences between pipe materials. Copper and galvanized steel were two of them, and beside her, the electrician was trying to get her to tell him what kind of lights she planned to have. Natasha could feel her heart pounding in her throat and sweat beginning to bead on her forehead as she tried to think of a clever, and dignified way to leave the store. During a particularly intense moment when the group started chatting together to come up with a more structured way to offer advice, she slipped behind the electrician and plumber. Her boots gently clicked on the hard ground as she forced a deep breath to expand her constricted chest. "Galvanized steel... Copper... PVC," she grumbled, knowing that there were no doubts real concerns or pros and cons to certain ones but she had never had to memorize any material that wasn't for a weapon, or maybe even to deal with a bomb. 

Natasha ended up in the paint section and for a moment she let herself think it was okay. It would be simple to just look at colors and envision them on certain walls. Right? 

Steve found Natasha in their shared bedroom laying on her back on the bed surrounded by hundreds of color palette papers. Several more wooden stir sticks with various shades of colors were thrown into the mix. What looked like printed papers on notes on what colors would be best for the kitchen, studio, and bedrooms. "Nat?" He spoke gently as if afraid to spook her as he took in the scene of chaos. Her normally meticulously groomed hair was spread out and messy. As if she'd spent time combing anxious fingers through it. She barely moved to acknowledge him, staring at the ceiling with a lost look. "Nat... What is this?" Steve gestured to the colors needlessly as she wasn't even looking to see. 

"Did you know there are five main types of piping for plumbing?" A near-hysterical laugh bubbled in her throat as she forced a deep breath. "Or, that people argue endlessly online at what is and is not acceptable to paint the walls of a house?" Steve folded his arm across his chest as he arched an eyebrow at her. He had taken the twins for a few hours to give Natasha some time on her own, and it seemed like she just managed to stress herself out. 

"Where did you go?" He had known that the idea of building the house was daunting, so he hadn't approached her over it. Steve figured he'd mostly discuss it with Tony and they could figure out the rest later. He should have known that Nat would lose herself in her thoughts over it. He walked closer to the bed touching the soft comforter, trailing his fingers along before running them through Natasha's soft hair. 

"Lomes or something like that," Nat grumbled, finally forcing her eyes to meet his. She was so tired and it was only a trip to the store and though it felt like hours she hadn't been gone all that long. Her stake-out mission turned into something that made her insides twist painfully. "I was just curious as to what we were getting ourselves into and... Well... I was approached and I thought I could ask a question but there were so many different people." She let out a soft hum as the fingers began doing their job and relaxing her. 

"You went to a home improvement store?" If nothing else Steve was amused that she had gone in. It wasn't a frightening place but this was out of her element and even he wasn't all that comfortable in current ones. Things had changed since he had been in the ice and even more so since he thawed. There was always something new and better out in the world. "Nat, sweetheart, why didn't you say anything?"

"Look at this Steve?" Natasha gestured to the colors surrounding her mournfully. "I'm not a homemaker. I can't be that forties wife you grew up expecting." 

"I didn't grow up expecting a wife," Steve responded back as he kneeled on the mattress, making it dip by Natasha's head. He leaned over and kissed her softly. "Everything that I have now... I'm lucky. It's a blessing, and you're a blessing. I don't want you to be a regular homemaker. I think we've discussed this already. There is nothing for you to hold yourself to." Her green eyes softened as she stared into his honest blue ones. Looking up he reached over and gripped one of the handouts and glanced over it with furrowed brows.