Strays

Canard

Chapter Seven

Blowing Smoke Dispensary

Jaycee

Smoke swirls all around me as I clam bake the back office. We've been closed for five hours and that's exactly how long I've been back here self-medicating with pot and whiskey. I cannot handle feeling at the moment. Not when I know what has happened.

Jax has called a few times. I can't bring myself to talk to him. Chibs has called more than a few times. He has left text messages and voicemails as well. I won't be surprised if he comes here after a while. He never did know when to leave me alone.

Shaking my head I put the roach out and take another drink straight out of the Jack Daniel's bottle. Opening one of the desk drawers, I pull out my old smartphone. See, we all use burner phones when doing business because they can't be traced. This one is my personal phone. The one I used to carry with me before the club decided I was valuable to them.

Going into my gallery I go through all the photos. Many of them are of me and Juice just playing around. Some of them even date back to the week we met. It's bittersweet to see the man I've loved for years look so young and carefree. So different than the way he was the last couple of years.

Flashback

" What are your plans for the future? "

" Being in the MC. Maybe get married and have a few kids. What about you? "

" I honestly don't know... I'll be around, of course, I just don't know what I'll be doing. "

" Maybe you'll be my old lady. "

" Boy stop. We're just friends. "

" I know we're just friends... Right now. We don't know what might happen a few years from now. "

Present

Setting the phone down I angrily wipe the tears from my eyes. Even when Chibs and I were a thing, I never once forgot about this conversation. Over the years we kind of let the thought of " us " go anyhow. It hurts because now that future will never happen no matter how badly I want it.

Not that I ever expected it to happen, but it was always nice to envision a world where there was nothing holding us back. Like our moment back at Wendy's apartment. That was something I never saw coming. I just couldn't stand to see him so broken.

Now he's really broken. And there's nothing I can do but drown my sorrows.

Stockton State Prison

Two Days Later

Two days. That's how long I've been holed up at the dispensary, chain-smoking joints and chasing them with whiskey like it's holy water. My stomach's hollow, my limbs heavy, my brain packed with fog and static. I shouldn't even be driving, but I need answers—or closure. I don't even know which anymore.

The guard escorts me to the same cold-ass interrogation room. Bleached walls, flickering overhead light, two chairs and one steel table that could double as an execution slab. I'm already trembling when I sit. Not because I'm scared. I'm just... not right.

When the door clicks open, Tully walks in like a storm in slow motion. The guard uncuffs him and steps out. The silence is an iron clamp.

"You were supposed to be here at ten," he growls, eyes burning through me.

I don't flinch. "I overslept. Sue me."

"That so? You can't be bothered to show up for your club?"

I give a tired, humorless laugh. "You really think I give a fuck about the club right now?"