Facing My Demons (Devil's Right Hand MC #1)

Chapter 24

Clove's POV

I watch the numbers change on the neon alarm clock beside our bed and sigh. Sleep will not come back to me, even though I know I have a 12-hour shift ahead of me. Honestly, that is probably why I have been abandoned by the welcoming arms of sleep.

I love being a nurse, it is my passion and my one true calling in life, so the thought of going back to work is comforting, and exciting even. The thought that is keeping me up tonight is that I could see Faith today. Thankfully we work in different units so the chance of seeing her is slim, but the ER and ICU do overlap in some capacities.

I just need today to go smoothly. This past month of my life can only be described as chaotic, some good things and some bad things sprinkled in, but chaotic nonetheless. My anxiety has been extremely high because of all the chaos and I have tried to hide it because I do not need anybody worried about me. The few panic attacks I have had in front of people are enough, I cannot let them see the hold my anxiety has had on me lately.

So, I just need one thing, one day, to go according to plan. I need to get ready, stop at Starbucks, and clock in, just like I have every day for the past three years. I need this day to be normal, mediocre even.

At 5 am, I finally give up and get out of bed. I take my time getting ready and throw on my favorite pair of light gray scrubs. Wolf and I went back to my place a few days ago to get most of my clothes and some other necessities. Neither of us wants me to go back there, especially with Jesse lurking in the background.

At 6 am, I walk downstairs expecting to see the bar dark and empty, but to my surprise, Grace sits at the bar holding a cup of coffee and another mug beside her.

"I figured you could use some caffeine," she smiles as she points at the other mug.

"Thank you, but you did not have to get up this early for me. I know you usually don't start breakfast until 8," I smile. The boys do not have to be at work until 9, so this is incredibly early for her.

"Are you kidding? It's your first day back and I knew you wouldn't wake Wolf up, so I wanted to be here in case you were nervous," she says and my smile grows.

"I'm okay, I cannot wait to go back to work, you know I love my job," I say letting the sentence hang in the air.

"But?" Grace pushes.

"But I don't want to see Faith and I do not want any drama. I just need one day to be normal."

"I get that," Grace smiles as she grabs my thigh, "you've been through way too much, you are owed a little normalcy."

Our conversation is interrupted as Axe groans as he walks down the stairs, half asleep. He is dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and a prospect cut. Despite his outfit and obvious muscles, he looks like a teenager who doesn't want to go to high school. He is supposed to scare Jesse off, but he wouldn't scare a fly off looking like that.

"Why do you have to be up so damn early," he yawns.

"Because I have to work at 7 am, so let's get going school boy," I laugh as I down my coffee and grab the bag I had packed the night before.

"Can I get coffee first?" he whines.

"I am stopping at Starbucks, I can buy you something there," I laugh as I walk out of the clubhouse after saying my goodbyes to Grace. Once in my car, Axe tells me he will follow me to Starbucks and then to work on his bike.

"Here's your coffee," I say handing Axe the cup once we are in the employee parking lot of the hospital.

"Thanks," he smiles a little at me, "I will be on the grounds all day while you are working. I obviously can't hang around the ICU all the time because it'll draw attention but I'll be close. Wolf said my number is in your phone and the code word is coffee, use it only if you are in danger or you see Jesse."