On The Surface | RavnWoong

C H A P T E R ₀₇

Everything felt unreal. Standing in front of the housing block that should feel familiar and like home to Hwanwoong now just felt odd to look at. This would be in his past very soon. Not long and he'd probably never put a foot past the entrance door again. He wouldn't hear the cars rush by at night anymore and the thin walls that allowed him to unintentionally spy on his neighbors would be history.

He got out and walked to the trunk. Seoho, who had driven the car, exited it as well to help Hwanwoong. The younger probably wouldn't have needed any, but it was Seoho's job to be polite when he was not in the middle of beating someone up to protect his boss. Hwanwoong smiled to thank the bodyguard, which Seoho returned tiredly.

It felt odd to him. It was currently three in the morning on a Tuesday although they had started their trip back on a Sunday. Hwanwoong felt that time zones are truly a weird construct. He waved Seoho a goodbye and asked him to please rest enough and hoped that he would tell Youngjo and Geonhak the same. Both of them were fast asleep at that moment, they didn't even hear the doors closing shut. The bodyguard nodded and leaned against the car, eyes focusing on the dancer. Right. He won't leave until I make it home safe.

He took a last glance at the car, through the window where he could see Youngjo sleep peacefully on the other side. Then he nodded at Seoho who nodded back with a weak smile and entered the housing block.

Once inside his apartment, he left his luggage in the middle of the living room, threw himself on the sofa, and immediately closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. He felt so exhausted. His body immediately gave up on him. His mind, however, wouldn't let him rest so quickly.

He brought his hand up to look at the ring around his finger. A strange feeling filled his chest. What was he supposed to think and feel now? When he woke up that Sunday, his hand was still in Youngjo's. Their fingers weren't intertwined anymore, but they were still touching like magnets. The male next to him was still asleep to his surprise, and as if he sensed it, he woke up once Hwanwoong removed his hand.

The smaller had cleared his throat, mumbled a small good morning, and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. He didn't even wait for an answer. Youngjo could've protested, maybe wanted to use the bathroom first, but Hwanwoong didn't care at that moment. He needed to escape and that had been his only way. Now he had a few minutes to clear his thoughts.

What does he think of me now? That I'm desperate? I go and hold his hand after asking him to stay even though he made it clear that he didn't want to sleep in a bed with me. God, he must definitely think that I'm desperate. Or that I don't care about his feelings. Am I inconsiderate? Does he know that I wasn't in a clear state of mind? I crossed the line, didn't I? He probably thinks I took advantage of the situation. But he could've said no. He didn't. He probably pitied me and that's why he stayed. It's fine. Maybe he does know I only wanted comfort. He's not that dense, right? I hope he doesn't interpret anything into this now.

Oh, these thoughts had almost swallowed Hwanwoong alive. Even after entering the room again, he didn't have any intention to speak. The fact of not knowing what went on inside of Youngjo's head somehow made him feel unsafe. He immediately started packing his things since they'd leave on the same day, and when Youngjo sensed Hwanwoong's off vibes, he felt the need to say something.

"Do you feel better?"

Hwanwoong turned around with a questioning sound, surprised that Youngjo even spoke to him. Maybe he was the one who thought too much into this, maybe he was the one interpreting something into this when the older didn't even think that far.

"I do, thanks for keeping me company." The dancer's voice was a little hesitant, but he definitely felt calmer now.

Maybe he overreacted. Maybe it was not that deep. But they didn't just sleep next to each other, they held hands throughout the whole night. Hwanwoong was just confused. Was this a platonic thing to do? Probably. Holding hands with a friend was something that he didn't consider weird, something that he wouldn't have second thoughts about. But Youngjo was not a friend. Or is he? Whatever he was, the fact that he was also Hwanwoong's husband just added a certain spice to this. It made it harder to think in one direction when there were many other roads to take.