On The Surface | RavnWoong

C H A P T E R ₁₄

Youngjo's body felt warm against Hwanwoong's. They slept in the same position all night long, and the younger held him close throughout all that time. When Hwanwoong opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Youngjo's brown hair. And when he realized that all of this wasn't a dream and he was actually holding the man, he closed his eyes again, let out a quiet breath, and snuggled closer again.

Hwanwoong wanted to cherish this moment for as long as possible. He knew that once Youngjo would wake up, the male would immediately withdraw himself. It was unexplainable. He couldn't understand why he needed this so much, why he felt all his energy recharge and his mind calm down simply by being this close to Youngjo. All he knew was that he didn't want this moment to end soon.

He wanted it to stay like this for one more hour. That was too greedy, so maybe a few more minutes. A little more time to feel Youngjo's warmth pass over to Hwanwoong's body. A little more of this closure — a few more seconds of taking in his scent and listening to his steady breathing.

Milliseconds of feeling like it was okay to hold him like this.

Hwanwoong thought of yesterday. It was a beautiful day. A day filled with laughter, warmth, and love. He thought of the vanilla milk, the card games, the comfort he felt throughout the whole day, and then his mind wandered to the part where he heard Youngjo's laugh fill the silence in the garden, how they ran through the snow, and how perfectly happy he felt in that moment.

Hwanwoong was well aware of the fact that they almost kissed. He was the one leaning in after all, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment at the thought. But he was also aware that he didn't cause the lack of space between their faces alone. Youngjo was also leaning in, and part of him really wanted to know what would've happened if his mother hadn't interrupted them.

He felt so confused. Maybe they were just influenced by the light and happy mood and didn't think. Maybe it was the mistletoe that sent out magic and manipulated them. Hwanwoong did know one thing for sure, and that was the fact that something had changed.

The dancer was sure that Youngjo looked at him with different eyes yesterday. Something laced his eyes. Was it happiness? He couldn't remember a time he had seen Youngjo this happy ever. Maybe it was that. People do impulsive and not thought through things when they're happy all the time, right?

And then he remembered the gift he received and exhaled sharply. Youngjo compared him to the moon. The brightest object in the night sky visible to one's eye. His stomach felt weird again and he knew the exact definition Keonhee would have for this sensation. Butterflies.

Hwanwoong closed his eyes again for a few seconds and then traced the pattern of Youngjo's shirt with them once he opened them again. A sigh left his mouth while he was getting fully conscious of the fact that maybe not everything he had deemed as platonic, was platonic. Not from his side. He acknowledged that there was a change in his feelings about and for Youngjo, and he couldn't even properly put his mind to when he started feeling this way. Fuck.

For now, he'd keep this to himself. Hwanwoong wanted to sort his thoughts and feelings a little before confronting Youngjo — if he'd even do it at all. He already felt conflicted. It would probably scare the older away, make him isolate and distance himself again, or even worse, make him end all of this instantly. The last option may have been a little exaggerated and unrealistic and Hwanwoong knew that, but at that moment he considered everything.

He would continue to live the way he did before yesterday, not say a thing about this because he knew Youngjo wouldn't bring it up either, and try to keep his cool. Hwanwoong didn't want to put a crack into the bond he had slowly built with Youngjo and he was okay with the way it was right now.