The Aftertaste

Chapter Thirty

My legs carry me inside the building. Music fills my ears and the smell of flowers is in the air. It's beautiful, everything I would've asked for. I pull the door to the main entrance and eyes are on me. Joe and Aubrey stand in front of a preacher, Aubrey reciting her vows. Joe makes direct eye contact with me. Nervous and scared written all over his face. Why did I come? What was I thinking?
My ears are filled with the sound of my heart thumping. Mom is towards the front with Greyson bouncing in her lap and Calvin beside her. I pray she doesn't see me standing here like a crazed fool.
The pastor is talking again but I can only hear the hum of his voice.
"Mama! Mama look Dada!" Greyson yells, pointing right at Joe. Someone gasps. Someone else whispers "what did he say?"
I want to melt into the floor. Turn into a thousand particles. Anything but stand in this isle.
"Dada!" Greyson yells, still pointing. Joe is staring at him with tear stained eyes.
"Danielle..did you hear him?" Joe says, softly. I can't answer.
Everyone is staring from me to Joe, to Greyson.
"What's going on here?" Aubrey snaps.
Joe looks at her with pure disgust as he steps down.
"My son just said daddy for the first time. My real son. Unlike the shit you're faking in your stomach."
The whole church gasps. I'm surprised but I'm not. Aubrey doesn't seem like the mother type, I feel like she's trying to keep her figure forever.
"You ain't talkin' to my fucking sister!" Aubrey's brother roars. He launches toward Joe and they full on tussle. All the men run up, trying to pull them apart. The women watch in fear and surprise. I'm frozen in place.
"His son?! His son?!" Aubrey is screaming. Women gather around her, screaming and pointing at..me. Oh no
Joe's mom waltz toward me, a big smile on her face.
"I always love to see your beautiful face. I knew. I knew that was my grandson before Joe knew anything. This is your chance. Get your man, sweetie. Start living."
She pats my shoulder before continuing to walk out the door. It closes behind her and she disappears like a guardian Angel.
"Hey!" The pastor yells. Everyone stops and the room is silent.
"I want to know what is going on in the house of God, RIGHT NOW!" He continues. My heart is so loud, it sounds like it'll bust at any moment. There's a lump in my throat.
"I-" my voice cracks slightly and eyes are all on me.
"I love you, Joe. I've loved you for all this time. I-I don't know what's happened all these years but I can't stop loving you. We have Greyson.."
The gasping let's me know I've said possibly too much.
"Bitch! Have you completely lost it?!" Aubrey yells. She's marching toward me and I prepare for whatever blow coming my way. I deserve it, this is here wedding.
Before she can get closer, Joe snatches her back. He's staring at me with those piercing eyes and I can only cry.
This is it. He isn't going to pick me. It's his turn to tell me no and run off in the sunset happily married. This is how it's always been; taking turns on who should run off next. I just wish di didn't make a full of myself in front of everyone. My eyes fill up and my vision is blurry.
"I'm s-sorry." The weight of everything feels like it's crushing me and I'm going to be sick. Heartbreak never gets easier, no matter how many times you experience it.
Everything seems to blacken around me and I can't stand anymore.
"Danielle!"

•••

The room feels calm. I allow myself to peek through my eyelids.
The hospital? Everything rushes to me and I want to vomit from embarrassment. I open my eyes more and notice Joe in a chair beside me. He's looking at the floor, praying maybe? Why would he be praying? I try not to move so I can just observe him. His head shoots up and I close my eyes fast, I can't bear to talk to him. He'll leave soon. It's his wedding night. He's probably here for Greyson.
His warm hand wraps around my cold one, gripping tightly. I feel electric. On fire, even.
"Listen, I love you. I-I ain't been the best for you and I'm sorry. Please wake up so we can figure this out. Lord, please. I can't lose you. Our children can't lose you. Greyson is so amazing, you did great with him baby. I just know you'll be an even better mommy to our baby girl. I just need you to wake up."
Our children? He's planning our future already because he loves me too. After everything, he loves me too.
"I love you." I whisper, staring back at him. He smirks, my heart and stomach going crazy from the sight of him.
"Baby. Baby baby baby baby."
Tears streak his face as he wraps his arms around me. I fall into his chest and we cry.
I let myself become raw in his arms. Vulnerability feels so pure right now.
"Knock, knock. I hate to interrupt but we do need to check on baby. I'll give you two a few, and we'll be right in." The nurse says from the door.
"Check on baby?" I ask, frowning at Joe.
"You're pregnant. I'm guessing a girl from how emotional you've been. I'm sorry about today. Seeing you drop like that and being told you have a concussion and a little one kicking around..I've been overwhelmed, Princess."
I'm in shock. My heart thumps so loud and I can't form words. I'm pregnant. How in the world could this happen to me. Did I skip a pill? I've been so distracted.
"You okay?" Joe lifts my head. Before I can answer, he smashes his lips against mine. I moan into his mouth without thinking. He has me drunk.
"Marry me." He moans into my lips. His hand finds mine and I feel something slip around my ring finger.
I'm a blushing mess, high on this man like a highschool crush.
I frown, did he give me Aubrey's ri-
"No, silly. Fix your face. I went and got you the best one while you laid in here pretending to be asleep."
He laughs and I giggle, allowing my face to fall into his chest again.
The sound of his heart fills my ears as I stare at my finger and my belly. This is it. This is where I've always belonged and I just kept running.
His heart beat seems louder, full of love and hope.
He kisses my lips softly but with so much passion.
"I love you."
"I love you, Danielle."
I close my eyes and allow myself to find warmth in his kiss and his beautiful aftertaste.