Bullet: Devil's Rose MC #5

Chapter 11: Mason Ohara

One of the Blue Moon Riders hadn't been searched properly, to anyone's specific fault, and she had a smaller gun hidden in her boot. That's not exactly a safe place for a loaded gun, but she wasn't worried about it it seems. I guess it was an act of revenge for her to pull the trigger so quickly. 

She aimed that gun at Whiskey, and I knew that he was going to die unless I did something. For once, I could be the hero and not the villain. I could be the guy that did something good, something selfless. I could make up for all the horrible shit that I've done in my life, for all the people I've ruined, for all the anger that I've pushed onto everyone else.

I was ready to die for him. I would die for any of them any day.

And so, I jumped in front of that bullet. It pierced through my vest (clearly) but it stopped the force of the bullet not to go straight through me and into Whiskey anyway. That man has a family, people that love and care for him. I couldn't just sit by and let him die. 

But everything is okay now. 

Weirdly, It ended up being a good thing. It forced me to reevaluate my life and reflect on the type of legacy I want to leave when I die. If I were to have died at that moment, I know that I would have been disappointed in what I left behind. Regardless of my last act of heroism.

"Bullet?"

"Hmm?"

Her fingers brush the side of my body while she slides closer to me.

"Do you think that we could have dinner tonight?"

I raise my eyebrows, tilting my head slightly to the side, my eyes taking in the pink blush spreading across her face and down her neck. I take her hand in mine, rubbing the back of her knuckles with my thumb. She turns her head away from my gaze. 

Her eyes stare distractedly across the street at the people going to the gas station as she waits patiently for my reply. I want to say yes, very much so, but she's also technically 'under me' when it comes to the MC hierarchy. 

While I would not abuse that power with or to anyone, including Piper, I don't want to break the rules regarding the lack of romantic and intimate relationship(s) with a subordinate individual(s).

I mean, it's also just dinner though. She's not asking me to marry her or anything. Neither is she asking me to take her bed. To be honest, I probably wouldn't try to fight as much.

"Let's have dinner, but it can only be dinner."

I have heart palpitations at the beaming smile she throws in my direction.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. She's so fucking pretty.

"I'll pick you up at six tonight?" I question with a shrug.

"Perfect, I'll see you then. I have a place in mind."

I raise my eyebrows at her as I feel her hand squeeze mine tightly in excitement.

The bar door opens with a bang and the girls come stumbling out of the door, giggling to one another. Persephone winks at me as she sees Piper and my hands locked together. Piper turns to face the pack of girls, her back pressed against my chest, her hand laying on my arm that naturally wraps around the front of her body.

"Come on, Piper. We're going shopping," Fiona practically screams at her.

I think she's had a lot to drink. I'm surprised that Reaper even let her outside without him. I never used to understand his protectiveness - I wasn't the only one in the MC to feel this way - but I get it now. I get it now.

"Uh, thank you, but Bullet and I already have plans to hang out this afternoon, so-"

"Angel, go with them."

She tilts her head back, peering her eyes up at me.

"But we had plans."

"We'll see each other tonight. Go with that ladies. It'll be fun for you."

"I just don't want to bail on you."

"You are, but I don't feel bad at all. I promise."

She heaves a sigh but reluctantly steps away from me regardless.

She's so fucking warm. Something is fucking missing when we aren't near each other. Like I feel sinking pressure in my chest. I'm a fucking goner. That much is clear.

Her lips brush my cheek, sending shock waves through my body.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow," she whispers in my ear.

"Oh, fuck off."

That smile is going to kill me. The shining happiness in the dark brown of her eyes is so fucking beautiful. I can't fucking resist her. Not that I want to.

I observe her and the Old Ladies walk down the street together, already laughing about something that Piper probably said. Whether the ladies know it or not - everyone besides Piper most likely does - her hanging out with that group has a lot of significance. 

Now, they are friends with everyone, but for my girl to be spending some quality alone time with them, it's like she's part of that group already. While nothing of that sort has happened between us, I haven't even thought about her becoming an Old Lady, but it seems that my fellow MC brothers and sisters are wanting that to happen. 

I feel like we have a long way to go until that happens.

Besides the hierarchical logistics of the situation, my emotional capability at this point is not at a standard to treat her the way she deserves. I have work to do before I'll be the person, the partner, that Piper needs to have. I don't deserve the light she shines nor the kindness I receive from her. I've done shitty things in my life. 

I've been a terrible son and a horrible brother. I abandoned them when they needed me most. I physically hurt people for a living, I have made people cry - her included - most times than I can count, and I push people away. I never could take care of someone or know how to help them when they need it.

I don't know how to trust or be vulnerable most of the time. I haven't ever had a girlfriend let alone any type of intimate relationship with someone. I'm thirty-fucking-three and I don't know what it's like to have loving sex. I've had sex before, but it's only been one-night stands or something out of a relationship. It didn't mean anything. I just sometimes feel not good enough for anyone. 

It's been so drilled into me by men in my life that the number of women I've had sex with equalities to my masculinity. That doesn't apply to the men I surround myself with now, but when I was a teenager, that's what I was told. With my mother punishing me at home, no girls having a romantic interest in me, and feeling so out of place in my life, I was super fucking insecure.

In some ways, I still am. My insecurities have never been an excuse to do shitty things, and I've never used what Piper calls my 'intimidating stature' to hurt people that don't deserve it, but I'm still not good enough. In my head at least. 

I spent four years at Texas State University with a business degree, and there, I was more lost than I ever thought a person could be. When I joined the Devil's Rose MC when I was twenty-two, that was the first time in my life where I felt like I meant something. 

As a prospect, the official members needed me for stuff. It was running errands and shit, but I felt good enough for them. I had a job to do, a purpose. I still feel that way as an official member myself. 

After everything that happened with my brother though, I'm back to that lost twenty-year-old who had no idea what to do with his life and felt no one cared.

Which no one did. There wasn't anyone in my life to care.