You Should've Seen This Coming

Chapter 3: Ready to Run

Jos POV

This pie is taking a very long time.

  Maybe it's because I feel like seconds are passing by slowly so I can finally reach my ultimate demise, but I could just be acting dramatic. So many weird things have happened today and I don't know how to put them into a little box and never think of them again.

  It's the way Hero's face twitched, and then how Martha's moved the same way. It's how the library called Derek to ask if I should go back to work but he's just some corporate guy. It's like he has some kind of pull or something, it's weird. Not to mention that fact that I suddenly wore dresses all the time? I hate dresses unless it's for an event so why the hell would I be extremely uncomfortable all of the time? I have too many questions for the amount of answers I'm going to get.

I put the pie crust into the pan and then spoon the apple-cinnamon mixture thing that I have into it. I'm excited for this pie, I haven't had apple pie since I was with my grandma. She would want you to get out of this. My subconscious needs to chill out. I listen as Hero descends the stairs after a very long shower, I just hope he didn't use all the hot water.

I start putting pieces of the top onto the pie, weaving it like a basket so it looks pretty. He comes into the kitchen, getting a beer and going back into the living room. Part of me wants to reach out to him, but I don't want to be gaslit into thinking this is my fault, because it's not my fault, I haven't done shit wrong.

It feels weird cursing, even in my own thoughts. Part of this society is to be pure and clean or whatever. It's not against the rules, it's just extremely looked down upon. I finish weaving the top and I put it into the oven, setting the timer to 30 minutes before making my way into the living room.

I have to face him sooner or later.

"Hero," I say and he doesn't move, flipping through channels like the dads you see on tv not caring about their family. "Hero I'm talking to you," I say a bit more firmly, trying to not show any annoyance.

"I know you are, I'm choosing to ignore you," he says to me and I sigh.

"That's awfully rude, don't you think?" I ask but it's more of a statement. He stops on a channel, as if to pause before he continues.

"You have to be going crazy or something, because you aren't the girl I fell in love with," he says to me and I look down, taking in what he's telling me. It's a load of bullshit.

"Maybe I'm changing, have you ever thought of that?" I ask and this time it's more of a question than a statement. My voice is softer because I'm trying to keep it from breaking. He sighs, turning back to look at me.

"You have everything you could ever want here, why would you want to change?" He asks and I think about this for a second. Why would I want to change? I know that everything I have here is amazing, and if I wanted more I could have that too, but something just doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm in some kind of mind prison that I can't escape from, but slivers of the real me are coming out into this other version.

"Because..." I say softly, knowing I have to word my next few words very carefully. If I don't, then I'm going to be called crazy again and he'll shut me out more than ever. Maybe he'll even tell Derek on me, not that it's any of his business. "Because I want to express myself in other ways, I just don't understand why you won't let me," I say in the calmest tone someone could possibly use. I'm a very calm and patient person, but the last few days — hell the last few hours — have changed that.

"Like baking an apple pie?" He asks and I go around the couch, sitting next to him. I see the sweat on the beer bottle and suddenly the house feels hot, but it's probably just from the oven being on. "Or wearing jeans instead of dresses?" He asks and I can tell that he's trying, I can tell he's trying to embrace this. He's just not doing it very well.