Painful Memories

Chapter 21

By the time the sun had risen over the water, I'd been up for hours. I'd left Kai sleeping soundly in our bed, his chest rising and falling steadily as he breathed. A headache had begun to pound at my temples, a sharp, familiar pain behind my eyes. Stifling a groan, I'd risen silently from the bed and swum into the bathing room.

I'd washed my face and put some concealer on, trying not to focus on the hollowness of my cheeks, the rings under my eyes. If a good night's sleep had been difficult to summon before, it was a distant memory now. On the rare nights I actually did sleep, it was fitful, interrupted by nightmares.

A shadow out of the corner of my eye had made me flinch. Whirling around, I scanned the bathing room, heart pounding. There was no one there, but I'd been unable to shake the feeling of someone watching me.

Rubbing my eyes, I'd quietly gotten dressed, struggling to keep my hands from shaking. The sharp pain had turned into a steady throbbing and I'd winced. I'd thought the headaches had stopped, but apparently it'd been wishful thinking. I'd glanced over my shoulder to where my husband slept, my heart clenching.

His face had been softened by sleep, no trace of the sadness and grief that had been present yesterday. He didn't know Jacob as well as I did, but he'd become closer with Aunt Bella, Uncle David, and the children over the years. He knew what it was like to suddenly lose someone you loved.

Now, as I emerged from the palace into the open water, I took a deep breath and exhaled deeply. No matter how hard I tried to block them out, Carla's words were permanently etched in my mind. "'I don't know Jacob is now, but I hope that he lives every day with regret and shame in his heart for his actions. He deserves to rot for what he did—to me and our children.'" The coldness of her voice had me biting back a shudder.

As much as I believed her words, there was a tiny part of me that didn't. I knew that once in her life, a very long time ago, she had truly loved Jacob. Seen him as a kind, loving merman and not as the murderer she knew him to be now. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, another surfaced.

Everyone has fond memories of their loved ones. No matter their faults, no matter their past, everyone has memories that they cling to. The numerous birthdays, the family dinners that were full of light and laughter, happiness and health. Even my family—for all their faults—has memories that they hold dear. That they dredge up during hard times, times when it feels like nothing's going right.

I cast my mind back to a difficult but fond memory—the day I married my best friend. My other half. The details of that day were etched permanently in my mind. The color and softness of my wedding dress; the feeling of nervousness in my body, manifesting as knots in my stomach and trembling hands; the gorgeous ballroom decorations.

I should have been focusing on the merman waiting for me at the end of the altar, the joy at having both my parents with me, but I couldn't. I'd been on high alert, convinced that Aunt Naia had been lying in wait to ambush us. My instincts had been right. Not five minutes after we'd exchanged rings, the joy and excitement still lingering in the water, the front doors of the ballroom had been flung open.

Aunt Naia had swum in, along with her guards, one of which was gripping the collar of a small, very scared mermaid. Faye. I don't remember much after that point, but I recalled Kai's gaze, his gentle hands on mine as he'd helped me out of my ruined wedding dress. I was in shock, my gaze blank as I'd stared at nothing.

Since that day, I have treasured the time I've had with my family. Through the good times and bad, through the heartache and grief, we'd stuck by one another. I was suddenly jolted out of my thoughts, as if surfacing from a dream. I blinked, trying to reorient myself. A blurry figure floated in front of me, but I couldn't make out anything besides broad shoulders and a shock of black hair.