Painful Memories

Chapter 15

I tossed and turned that night, unable to banish the look on Dad's face after Uncle Noah had left their suite. The heartbreak and agony were expressions I'd had all too often on my own face. Too many times, I'd been betrayed by foes who pretended to be friends. Sometimes, though, I hadn't been able to realize it before it had been too late.

Silent tears rolled down my face as I woke up, the sobs hitting me head-on. That's how it goes with everyone, I suddenly realized. Sooner or later, sometime in everyone's life, they'll eventually be betrayed by someone they trusted deeply.

Kai shifted in his sleep, wrapping an arm around me as he rolled over. I leaned into him, laying my head on his chest. It makes you more alert, more on guard for others who may eventually betray you. If you're like Mom and me, you want to see the best in everyone, but at the same time you can't ignore the voice in the back of your head telling you to be cautious.

I thought about Claudia and Stella, mermaids who'd been ecstatic about serving my mother as ladies-in-waiting in the beginning, but who eventually ended up betraying her. From what I'd heard, Dad had handpicked each of them—Claudia, Stella, and Rochelle—for their fierce loyalty and unwavering commitment. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized what both Claudia and Stella had in common.

They had families. Stella had her parents and younger brother, Claudia her parents and younger sister. We'd learned later that Claudia's sister had been killed in an attack on her realm, but as far as we knew, Stella's family was still alive.

That's what didn't make sense to me. According to Dad, Uncle Noah had been jealous of him, the fact that he'd been destined to inherit the throne. But Claudia had shown real grief over her sister's death. They'd been incredibly close and practically inseparable.

Which automatically shifted my thoughts to Ella, Drew, and Faye's biological father. Jacob Mercer. I pictured his face in my mind—saw it glowing with happiness as he spent time with his wife and children, saw it softened in love as he watched his children play together. But also their fractured relationship that had grown as the years had progressed. I pictured Drew's face in my nightmare, heard his unwavering voice, the words he'd spoken as he stared his father down. "'You promise you won't hurt my family?'"

Saw the regret and longing in Jacob's eyes, felt his wince as the words found their mark. As if in response, my shoulder throbbed, causing tears to spring to my eyes. But he'd lied, I realized with a jolt. He'd sworn to Drew only moments later that he wouldn't hurt any of us, then swiftly broke that promise. How had he found out so fast? Someone must have told him, I reasoned. But who?

I ran through my mental list of everyone I knew, betrayer or not. Was it possible that we had yet another traitor in our midst? The very thought made my stomach swirl with nausea. When the answer came, it took everything in me not to cry out. I couldn't believe I hadn't realized it sooner. Uncle Noah.

But why? What could Jacob have possibly offered him that would make him betray his family, his blood? And so soon after being exonerated.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I barely registered the sun's weak rays shining through our windows. My head began to throb from lack of sleep, a silent groan escaping me. More than anything, I wanted to stay in bed all day and not face anyone.

But I knew that both Kai and Queen Katrina would worry about me if I didn't show up for breakfast, given Kai's reaction when I'd finally come back last night. Swallowing another groan, I quietly got out of bed, rubbing my eyes. He rolled over, but didn't open his eyes. I got dressed quickly, slipping silently out the door.

When I neared the dining hall, I veered to the left at the very last second, exiting out a side door into the open water. Maybe a swim before breakfast would help clear my head.

The sun was almost fully over the water now, its rays shining down into the water. The current was calm at this point in the day, not many out and about yet. For once, I was glad. I couldn't handle having a conversation with anyone right now.

My mind wouldn't stop spinning. I swam without a particular destination in mind, just needing to dispel the restless energy in my body. I barely got a few leagues away from the palace before the nausea came back with a vengeance. I halted, retching.

The images swam in my head, one after another: Uncle Noah's heartbroken face; Jacob flinging open the front doors, waves of anger radiating from him; Mom helping me off the floor; Uncle Noah's face snapping to the side as Jacob punched him; Jacob wrapping a hand around Uncle Noah's throat.

I retched again, the tang stuffing itself up my nostrils and triggering another wave. I collapsed on a nearby rock once it passed, struggling to bring water into my lungs. My body was spent, every muscle feeling weak and shaky. Once again, the mere thought of pretending to be fine all day was almost too exhausting to contemplate.

After another minute, I struggled back inside, my strokes sluggish and fatigued. I managed to make it back to our suite without seeing anyone, where it took everything in me not to collapse in bed. When I swam into the bathing room, I had barely taken another stroke before I felt hands under my shoulders, lifting me up. I hadn't even realized I'd started to fall.

"Don't worry, your Highness," Nadia said softly. "I'm here." I barely had enough energy to lift my head, never mind respond. She kept a steadying hand on my back as I washed my face.

As I looked at myself in the mirror, gaunt and hollow-eyed, more tears gathered in my eyes. I took a steadying breath, pushing them down before speaking. "Thank you, Nadia," I whispered. She nodded.

"Do you feel up to breakfast? If not, I can tell Kai to bring you something." Her words were kind, but they made me jolt nonetheless.

I shook my head. "No. I'll come down."

She kept a hand on the small of my back as we swam. When we reached the dining room, the usual smells had me fighting back more nausea. I collapsed into my chair, breathing heavily.

Kai leaned towards me, speaking quietly. "You okay?"

I couldn't even begin to guess what my expression was, but judging from the concern on his face, I'd say it wasn't pleasant. I managed a weak nod. "Do you feel up to telling me what happened last night?"

The words had barely left his mouth before Nadia was beside me, holding a plate of shrimp and bubble tea. I accepted both gratefully, smiling at her.

I quietly explained everything, stumbling slightly over the part about Uncle Noah. The headache came back with a vengeance and I quickly drained my cup of bubble tea, massaging my temples.

I put my head in my hands, struggling to fight back tears of dread. Things were only going to get worse. That I knew for certain. The only question was, would we be able to handle whatever came next?

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