Painful Memories

Chapter 23

I laid awake that night, King Drake's words playing on a loop in my head. "'Treasure the time you have with your family, Isadora. Don't take one moment for granted. Live each day like it's your last.'" Thinking about Mom and Aunt Naia's parents, their fractured relationships, I had to clamp down painfully on a sob.

Tears silently rolled down my cheeks. It was as if I was watching a montage of my life. Images, faces, places blurred past my eyes. I could hear laughter. Shouts. Crying. I saw smiles, tears.

Ever since destroying the original Lost Soul Pendant, I felt like I'd been given a second chance. I could have just as easily stayed above the surface until I suffocated, drowning in air and regret. I hadn't realized it until now—it had definitely been the shock and trauma of the event—but I chose—despite my many sins and regrets—to drop back underwater, to keep living.

My chest hitched with silent sobs as I clapped my hand over my mouth, desperate to keep so much as a whimper from escaping. As if sensing my pain, Kai rolled over in his sleep, pulled me to him.

All too soon, the water began to lighten, the sun's rays just piercing the darkness. A headache stretched from temple to temple, a glaring reminder of the previous night of no sleep and intense tears. When a knock sounded on the door, hours, minutes later, I almost didn't answer. I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, the thought of having to function nearly unthinkable.

As another knock came, softer this time, I reluctantly decided against it. My head spun as I slowly sat up. "Come in," I called out, my voice hoarse.

The door opened silently, worried eyes sweeping the room. Kai swam in, concern etched on his face. "You look how I feel," I whispered, my heart hurting for him.

His face was wan, dark circles under his eyes. More than that, his demeanor was tired. He, too, looked as if he hadn't slept. "Want to tell me what kept you up last night?" He murmured, pressing kisses to the top of my head.

I shook my head, suddenly ashamed. His arms tightened around me, as if to remind himself that I was here, that I was safe. "Do you ever look back at specific moments and wonder what would have happened if they hadn't turned out the way they had?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back.

His arms slackened around me, his body going limp. His eyes went vacant, staring at nothing. I knew exactly what he was seeing, because I was seeing the same thing. Watching him swim into our suite that night, gaze blank and eyes haunted. Watching the silent sobs that had wracked his body, the pain and grief palpable.

When he finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, so soft I had to lean in to hear it. "When I swam inside their suite and saw him..." he trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut and swallowing hard, "motionless on the bed, all the blood drained from his face, I couldn't breathe. I felt as if someone had choked me, cutting off the water to my lungs. I don't even remember hearing or seeing Mom come in, her reaction. Afterwards, I just..."

He trailed off again, running his hands through his hair. "I got back to our suite in a daze. When I saw you, it was as if the fog had lifted. You looked so worried about me, and I wanted more than anything to explain what had happened. But it felt impossible to open my mouth, never mind try to speak. When we found out the truth, in a weird way, I felt as if a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders." His voice broke on the last word, tears filling his eyes.

I heaved a shuddering breath, letting it out slowly. "I keep thinking about when I destroyed the original Lost Soul Pendant, what would have happened if I hadn't..." It was my turn to trail off, guilt and shame squeezing my heart in a tight fist. "If I had chosen to die instead of drop back into the water."

Images slammed into me, stealing the water from my lungs and making my heart skip a beat. Floating in front of Tyler, rethinking my decision a thousand times over even though I'd known that I'd already made up my mind; clutching the Lost Soul Pendant in my hands, looking up at the surface; turning away from Aunt Bella and Uncle David, swimming up until my head broke the surface; those precious seconds bleeding into minutes as I struggled to breathe. The one word I uttered, not a name, but a thing: "Sun."

I hadn't realized it until now, but as the word had left my mouth, a small voice in the back of my head had whispered to me. Asking me if this was really what I wanted—to go back to a life full of feeling. Feeling everything, no matter how hard you tried to hide it. Every emotion—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

To living each day like it was my last, knowing that at any moment, I or any of my family could die. "I didn't want to die," I whispered brokenly. "I just wanted it all to stop. The pain, grief, and sorrow. I just wanted it all to go away." A broken sob cracked from me; it felt like my heart was breaking in half.

When I looked at Kai, all the color had drained from his face, tears gleaming in his eyes. He just stared at me, neither of us saying anything for a few, long moments. When he spoke again, his voice was as broken as mine had been. "Send a message to your parents and your aunt and uncle. Tell them to gather Pelathas' and Aegrem's citizens and have them meet in front the palace. I'll get Mom to contact Queen Irvetta and King Marlin." He saw the confusion and concern in my eyes, shook his head.

My heart skipped a beat as I noticed his hands trembling. "I'm okay. Please." He kissed me on the forehead before letting me go.

My own hands began to tremble as I quickly scribbled the message on a piece of paper. I did the same to a second piece, whispering first Mom and Dad's names, then Aunt Bella and Uncle David's. When I turned around again, he was gone. I hadn't even heard the door open and close.

Too nervous to sit still, I left our suite, swimming leisurely down to the entrance hall. I got various nods and smiles, but I barely returned them. I looked outside and gasped, all the water leaving my body in a rush. Tens of thousands of citizens surrounded the palace, mermaids and mermen alike. Some were clutching little mermaids and merboys, nervous smiles on their faces.

I looked for Kai as I got outside, but didn't see him. "Isadora!" I turned when I heard my name. Dad swam towards me, confusion etched on his face. "Any idea what this is about?" Mom quickly joined him, followed by Aunt Bella and Uncle David.

I opened my mouth to respond, but was cut off by a familiar voice, filled with apprehension. "Thank you all for coming out today." I looked to my left and saw Kai floating a few feet away from me. His face was calm, his demeanor composed, but I could spot the nervous glance he shot my way, the slight widening of his eyes.

I nodded. I love you, I mouthed. Those words seemed to give him strength. When he spoke again, his voice was strong. "Everyone here has suffered countless losses over the past few years. Whether it be family or friend, we all have had to lean on each other during these difficult times. Which is why..." He trailed off, swimming over to Mom, nodding at her.

Mom smiled at him, taking his hand and swimming with him back to where he was. She reached behind a rock, pulling out something rectangular and gold. When Kai had it in his hands, everyone started cheering and applauding. I swam to him, wondering what was going on.

He kissed me on the cheek. "You want to do the honors?" When I nodded, we swam into the palace together, heading straight to the dining hall. With trembling hands, I gently placed the plaque on the wood above the doors. In loving memory of Drake Zane Talbot. The picture of King Drake was enough for me to break down again.

The sound of cheering and applause made me smile. "He would be so incredibly proud of you, Kai," I whispered, kissing him on the cheek.

He returned the gesture, a sad smile on his face. For once, there was no terror, no chaos. For now, we could just be a husband and wife in mourning.

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