The Cascading Waves of Caden Lee

06

SCARLETT PARKER

My day starts out just as any other, with my trash mom yelling at me. Not the disciplinary yelling that normally occurs between the rebellious teen and the concerned mother, but the hateful, spiteful kind.

The kind that causes her face to erupt in shades of red and her eyes to narrow, my eyebrows to furrow and my lips to thin.

"I just wish for one second—ONE SECOND!—that you would get over yourself and care for me! I am your mother and I deserve to be treated with respect—"

"Okay, mom." I'm on my 6th 'okay' by now, she finds a way to keep the argument going with, "Don't you 'okay, mom' me! And stop it with that face!"

I'm not doing anything with my face, it's my resting face, but she still finds something to criticize about it.

The minute she starts talking about Nate I'm out the door. Ears ringing and vision blurred, I shrug my shoulder in order to keep my backpack on it. She knows mentioning him will get a reaction out of me, I don't want to give her one.

There was a time when I would, when I would take the fresh bait and I would scream, and yell, until my throat stung and my eyes were so irritated from the tears soaking my cheeks. But it's useless, now. I've never won an argument, never will, and the best I've found to do is to just not show emotion. Showing yourself makes her realize that she's getting to you, that if she keeps digging under your skin and nitpicking you you'll eventually snap. And then she has a reason, a justification to bend the relationship a mother and daughter should have.

My hand grips my truck doors handle, opening it and tossing my heavy backpack into the back seat. Next, I climb into the front seat, turning the AC dial up and leaning back into the cushioned chair. I sit there, breath, close my eyes, relax, and then I'm ready to go.

The drive is short, the calm after the storm, and before I know it I'm heading into the doors of the only place I'm free.

_._._._._._._._._._.

The locker door slams shut, "Are you ever gonna get back out there?" Tammy says. I'm not sure I ever will, or how she expects me to after everything that's happened, but I nod anyways and shrug my bag over my shoulder.

"You could start by cheering at the game next Thursday? Surely the bleachers are starting to hurt." She suggests. I think shes trying to help me, but my heart constricts each time I think about the reason why I need help in the first place. I feel the familiar wave of dread creep over me, feel it fill me from head to toe so much my hands shake and my breath quickens.

"Hey, Tam, Knock it off. She'll be back when she's ready, right Scarlett?" Leah asks me, she's always been the more considerate one of the two when it came to this. I'm not sure how she knows exactly how to help, but I'm too afraid to ask, and I don't think I ever will.

"Right. Yeah, I will." The topic is dropped, and Leah pats me on the shoulder as I make my way into Psychology class. I enrolled into this class for several reasons, one of them being the reason I can hardly sleep at night. A pathetic attempt to learn more about the human mind, how it works, in order to piece things together. Why did he do it? How did it get so bad?

When did I give up on him?

I spot Caden. He's sitting on the desk, legs sprawled out and eyes half-lidded. He looks exhausted, he must've not gotten much sleep last night.

"Hey" I murmur, sitting on the hard, plastic chair. His eyes flicker over to me, captivating, but the whites of his eyes are a tinted red, they look almost bloodshot. I would ask, but it's not any of my business, so I wait for him to reply.

His voice is groggy when he says "hi" and his eyes flicker towards his desk once more. He seems relaxed, too relaxed.

3 minutes pass, the curiosity eats at me until I finally muster up the courage to say, "are you okay?" Simple sentence, I know, but it feels almost intimate due to the fact that me and Caden are acquaintances at best.

His eyebrows furrow and his eyes widen, the groggy voice speaks once more, "yeah, more than okay, are you?"

"I'm okay."

He nods, and goes back to staring at the desk. I take notes of what the teacher is presenting.