The Cascading Waves of Caden Lee

14

CADEN LEE

As awkward as I felt carrying Scarlet to the nurse, I'm glad I did. We were supposed to move into our locker yesterday, but that plan was dwarfed when she collapsed in the hallway. Why did she go to school if she was sick? I've never understood people who do.

I hope she doesn't find it weird that I was the one who took her there. I know I would be kinda confused if someone I barely knew carried me to the nurse like some sort of knight. Either way, I'm on my way to Psychology, and I'm happy that Scarlett is here today. I saw her in the hallway earlier, she looked rough, if I'm being honest. But the selfish part of me is glad I don't have to awkwardly sit at my desk while the whole class moves into their lockers again.

As I sit in the blue, plastic chair connected to my desk I stare at the empty seat next to me. I'm always here first, which I'm guessing is because she has more friends to talk to during passing periods. I was one of the unfortunate souls that was left practically friendless in most of my classes. It sounds like a nightmare to most, and it did to me the second I glanced at my schedule, but I've found it to be actually pretty calming.

Like, for example, I don't have to try to act normal to my friends when I'm high. Instead, I plug my earphones in and drift with the music. I know Ash and Joseph wouldn't really judge me, or care, but I can't help the voice that whispers to me to 'not tell anyone' when I'm in a situation where I should probably do so. Besides, the orange plastic bottle still sits unused in a sock in my drawer. The guilt hit me like a fright train the second I got home and registered it stuffed into my hoodie pocket. Why would I steal someone else's medication? Someone who actually needs it?

But I couldn't just go and give it back, that would reveal that I stole it in the first place, which would lead to baseless questions that I don't need to answer. It would seem worse than it is. And besides, I'm not stupid, I know how that stuff can ruin your life. It's been drilled into my brain throughout school. So it sits there, I'm never going to use it, but I'm keeping it there until I can find someplace to discard it without it being found.

Besides, weed is already bad enough, or at least viewed as some plant from the devil by most, why would I go ahead and dig the hole deeper with pills? I dont need them. The weed is enough. It keeps me calm and mellows me down when I desperately need it.

The screeching of metal on tile floors brings me back to reality, and I see Scarlett plop down into her seat. Hair messily gathered in a ponytail and a thin layer of concealer barely-concealing eye bags. I can't judge the eye-bags though, that would make me a hypocrite. I swear the bags under my eyes are designer at this point.

"Hey," I say.

"Oh, hey." She murmurs back, voice scratchy. It's silent after that, and I dig deeper Into my brain to try and find something to talk about. I don't know why people always assume the 'Jocks' of the school or the 'popular kids' can't be awkward or struggle with socializing. That's an everyday struggle for me, trying to find something to catch someone's attention, to keep it. But I always end up getting insecure about being too boring, or the person not really wanting to talk to me.

Too bad I was expecting her to be a tad more social than me. I guess I'll have to say something, because we still need to move in and do our interviews.

"Uhm, are you feeling better now? You seemed really sick yesterday," I pause, "I didn't really expect you to be back this soon." And that's the truth, I could've sworn her face was a pale shade of green from how nauseous she looked. I hadn't been that sick for a very, very long time.

She jumps a little in her seat, obviously not expecting me to talk, and nods with a slight, forced smile on her face. "Yeah, just a little. I would still keep your space though...you know, if you don't want to vomit in a hallway."