The Cascading Waves of Caden Lee

15

CADEN LEE

Grumbling, I toss and turn in my sleep. A singular sentence playing like a record in my mind. On loop. Over and over, over, over, over...My phone rings. I sigh, sitting up and grabbing my phone with shaky hands.

ASH:
Hey man! Where've you been? It feels like me and Joseph haven't seen you in forever.

My lips thin, thumbs hovering over the keyboard, mind mulling over what to say back. It's not necessarily untrue. I have been more distant. But it's not really my fault, I've been like that with everyone. I just haven't really had the motivation to talk to anyone anymore! But it's not like I can say that.

CADE:
ikr, sorry. You guys wanna hang this Saturday? Party at Katie's I heard???

Three bubbles appear, only for a second before disappearing and leaving the blank black screen behind it. I sigh, about to click off my phone before the bubbles appear once more and a ring fills the air.

ASH:
Yeah! Of course! I'll tell Joseph. :)

I smile slightly, staring at the smile Asher tends to send in his messages. Before swiping up and exiting the app, clicking onto Snapchat and clicking onto Lea's story. We had added each-other onto here after the party, both of us high and careless and recognizing each-other. We haven't really talked since, but her story is usually how I find out about all the parties now.

In this photo it's a mirror selfie, in the background her desk's surface is covered in makeup products. The mirror she's taking the photo in slightly smudged. She's wearing light eyeliner, blond hair wavy and black leather blazer on. Maroon skirt and black-lace top on. She's pretty, but with what would usually end in my stomach fluttering, is the thought of a girl with black hair and a sharp smile. My face drops. No, I can't think of her. With how pretty she is she's surely taken.

Shaking my head, I click the screen and this time it's her and her friends in a car. Weirdly enough, I spot Scarlett in the background of the photo. Laughing at something a girl with red hair said to her left. Are they friends? Lea and Scarlett? The sentence from earlier flashes in my mind.

"What do you feel about Scarlett?"

My hands shake, eyebrows furrowing as I think. What do I think of her? I know that the thought of her brings a pink hue to my cheeks. I know that she makes me feel nervous yet socially awkward at the very same time. Excited, almost.

I huff, "I think there's possibility of us being friends, really. She seems nice...and she's, pretty, you know...seems like someone who's hard to dislike." Unknowingly, talking about her upturns my lips, eyes gazing onto my lap. I look up, catching the slight smirk of the blonde in-front of me before it's wiped away, the scratching of a ballpoint pen onto paper grounding me into reality.

My god. I run my hands down my face roughly, groaning slightly as I try to forget my earlier words. This can't be happening right now. It's not a big deal, I know that, I'm being dramatic, but it's just added stress to my already stressful reality. Clicking off my phone, I stumble out of my bed to my bedside drawer. Pulling it open, I grab my dab-pen, shutting the drawer lightly in order to minimize noise as much as possible.

Sitting back onto my bed, I grab the toilet paper roll stuffed with dryer sheets and toilet paper under my bed. While people may say that pens don't smell, I know enough to say that they do, and that the multiple times Jessie came into my room and asked what 'that smell' was, brings me to now using this to dull the smell. It works surprisingly well, if the pause to the endless questions about the smell thrown at me says anything.