Our Little Secret

Chapter 12: Establishing Boundaries

What are we?

How does Diluc feel about me?

What am I to him?

What do I want out of this?

I was on the verge of tears this faithful morning due to not understanding my wants and desires. I recognize that a relationship so early after Kaeya may be a bad idea. However, I really want Diluc. 

What was also frustrating is the fact I don't know how Diluc feels. He told me he felt something between us, but not how he feels about me. 

I told him we needed to talk. He looked concerned but agreed. We sat by Dawn Winery, soaking in the beautiful sun. Mondstadt's winds were gentle, combing through my hair gracefully. 

Diluc broke the everlasting silence with, "What is on your mind?" I sat there, piecing together the thoughts in my head. I pondered in thought for a while, making sure everything will sound clear and comprehensive. I turned to him, making full eye contact without feeling shy. I was determined, to make it known how I felt about him. 

"Diluc, I like you. A lot. But I don't know if we can be together, not yet at least. I don't want Kaeya to hurt you for being with me. I don't want to cause trouble." I finally said, taking a deep breath after. He concentrated on my words and processed them before speaking. Still exchanging eye contact, he said, "I like you too. I hear you though, you're not ready for that kind of commitment. And that's okay. I don't blame you for feeling that way. I just want you to know, if Kaeya still wanted you, he wouldn't have cheated on you. If he is mad that we are together, he can shove that right up his ass." Diluc made his way over to me. He was now sitting with his thigh touching mine. He lightly placed his hand under my chin, making me face him.

"I will wait for as long as it takes. I know in my heart, you're the one for me. Take your time love. Let yourself fall in love with me." he said, kissing me lightly. The world blurted around us as we kissed, making everything feel like a dream. It felt like it was just us in this cruel world. We released, staring at each other for what felt like hours. I couldn't take my eyes off him. And he couldn't take his off me. 

I left shortly after our encounter. I knew I wasn't ready. But I wanted him, so bad. I felt reassured, knowing that he will wait for me. I needed that. I started to get frustrated because of how badly I desperately wanted him. I just need time. That's it. 

"I don't wanna be patient with myself. I want him." I said, literally on the verge of tears. "You have him Y/n. He wants you." Rosaria said, lightly rubbing my back. Rosaria and I kept in touch after the whole Kaeya situation. She never liked his womanizing tendencies and always fought against it. She apologized, saying she should have told me before I saw it with my own eyes. I told her not to take responsibility for someone else's poor decisions. Ever since then, I have been keeping her updated with Diluc. And she has been telling me that Kaeya can't find another relationship.

Sucks to be him. I'm in love with his brother. 

"I know. He told me he will wait. But I feel bad making him wait." I said, tears finally showing themselves. "Y/n, this is not about him. He is being considerate of how you feel. He understands the situation you're in. Don't worry about it. Let yourself fall for him." she said, hugging me. 

She's right. I'm worrying too much. He knows I want him. I should just focus on bettering myself. So I can be in the right headspace to be his. 

This particular night, Diluc told me he has a lot to do at the Dawn Winery. So I was working by myself. And guess who pranced right in,

Mr. Nice Guy, Kaeya.