𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛 || 𝙰𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗 𝙱𝚞𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚛

02 - Dependency

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝙸'𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚔𝚒𝚍
𝚄𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚝
𝙸 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚘'𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎
𝙸 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚏𝚞𝚗

Song suggestion: Tolerate It – Taylor Swift

ELSIE

I laughed at Austin's point in whatever ridiculous debate we had gotten into, well into our 4th round of drinks.

I loved moments like these. Innocent, carefree, light. No worries, no cares, no one else but us.

My phone buzzed next to me, ripping me out of our bubble. Nox's name flashing over the screen.

"Hey babe!" I answered immediately, trying my best to mask the alcohol in my voice.

"Why haven't you answer the last 3 fucking times I've called you." My heart began to race. It was going to be one of those nights.

"Oh um- I'm sorry I must've not heard it? I didn't know you had called." I braced myself for his response.

Austin's eyes are on me. I knew my voice gave away what was happening. I could tell he's already preparing a 'dump-him' pep talk.

"Let me guess, your little fuck buddy is over." His voice slurred. It seemed as though 'boy's night' at the bar went well.

"I-" My eyes met Austin's, I hesitated to answer in front of him.

With all the drunken strength I had, I quickly pulled myself up and walked over to the kitchen.

Turning away from Austin and with a low voice I answered, "You know it's not like that, he's just my friend Nox."

I hoped Austin couldn't hear me, but my apartment was only so big.

"Don't fucking lie to me Elsie. I know you're cheating." He sounded so fucked up. I'm glad he hadn't home.

I gulp as a familiar lump formed in my throat. Out of all the nights he could act like this, why did it have to be tonight. This night was about Austin, I couldn't make it about me.

"Nox, you know I'm not cheating." I don't know if was the alcohol or the false accusation that allowed my voice to harden.

"Well obviously you don't need me to come home then."

Right, this always happened. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why he's not coming home.

"I'm not cheating on you!" Before I could stop my loud words, they spill out. I scrunch my eyes shut knowing his response was going to be rough.

"You know what? I could deal with you being a fucking slut, but it's that you parade him all over my fucking apartment. You dumb bitch, don't you know that no one is ever going to fucking love you like I do?"

At this point, my body began to shake from anger. And fear.

"I'm not fucking cheating Nox! I'm not fucking Austin!" For some reason that felt like a lie.

I couldn't see Austin's reaction, and I was too scared to check.

"What the fuck ever." His voice rough and drenched in alcohol. "We'll talk about this tomorrow- don't wait up for me."

The line was suddenly empty, he'd hung up and I knew he wouldn't be calling again. Tomorrow is going to be so fucking fun with an angry, hungover Nox.

It wasn't that big of a deal really. He always act like that when he's drunk. It'll pass when he comes down. It just felt like he was never happy lately. I could never make him happy.

I bit the inside of my cheek and took a deep breath before turning to face Austin.

When I spun around, I found Austin already behind me, waiting. As soon as my eyes meet his gentle ones, warm tears pooled into my eyes.

"Els," Austin stepped towards me and gently grabbed my shoulder, "How many times have I told you. You can't let him talk to you like that. He can't call you those things."

Although Nox was not the kindest this time, I took a silent sigh of relief that it wasn't any worse. Nox had been extra "stressed" lately, at least that's what I told myself.

I quickly wiped a rogue tear from my cheek with the cuff of my oversized cardigan. Austin said nothing before he pulled me into his arms giving me a tight hug. Probably knowing that more tears would be coming.

I stayed in his arms a while as he gently rubbed my back. My face buried in his chest, the scent of his cologne filled my nose. It helped me to calm down. It always did.

"You can't let him call you those things." He repeated.

"I know," I mutter into his chest. It sucked that these types of hugs only came at the price of tears. I couldn't explain it, but they made me feel safe. A safety I have yet to recreate.

Through teary eyes I forced another smile, "You want another drink?"

Maybe we both relied on alcohol sometimes.

-

A fair number of drinks later, we sat across from each other on the floor. Our laughter boomed through the industrial living room as we shared a bag of hot Cheetos.

Moments like this always brought back memories from our college days where we would to sit on the floor getting high and sharing M&M's.

Austin abruptly snatched the bag of Cheetos claiming it as his own with a goofy grin.

"Hey! That's not nice!" I lunged forward to grab them before realizing that I was inches from his face. I lingered a moment, but he lingered too. My eyes slowly shifted from the bag and met his blue ones. I searched them to see what he was thinking, but I couldn't find anything.

I chuckled nervously and pulled back, "I guess we should try to clean up?"

Austin seemed to recoil, "yeah... or we could watch something? Bob's Burgers?"

"Fuck yeah," My drunken voice boomed. "And fuck Nox!"

Austin smiled wide, "Yeah fuck Nox!" He shot a fist into the air.