𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛 || 𝙰𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗 𝙱𝚞𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚛

20 - I Know You're Lying

𝙽𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚍𝚘
𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚎, 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞
𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚎
𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝘚𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 - 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥

AUSTIN

I laid on my couch, every limb glued to the dark blue suede. It felt like heaven, a soft velvety nirvana. The concrete hues and patterns of my ceiling blended into something so consuming. Plaster swirls spun around each other in a fluid dance, my eyes followed every twirl. Nothing else on my mind besides that beautiful cement ceiling.

An abrupt buzz rattled against the wooden coffee table, yanking me from my riveting entertainment. It took a full ring and midway through another for me to finally reach my phone, turning it over to see Elsie's name on my screen. A lazy smile tugged at my lips.

"Hello," I answered, though it sounded significantly more excited in my head.

"Austin, what the fuck are you doing?" She asked sounding urgent, annoyed? It confused me.

"What do you mean?" Speaking felt like the most exhausting endeavor. "I'm talking to you."

"Austin, I've been knocking at your door for the past 20 minutes."

"What? I think you're mistaken Els. I've been home all day."

"I know." I never knew a knock could sound so annoyed until her fist met my door again.

"Oh, sorry I um, hold on." Every muscle worked overtime to stand me up.

The line went dead.

I heaved open the heavy metal door and propped myself against it. "Sorry, I um- I must've fell asleep."

She stepped forward cautiously, her eyes inspected me. I felt like she was a scientist, and I was the petri dish. "Right." Stepping past me and into my apartment. "Is this why you haven't answered any of my calls for the past week?"

"Els, I've been busy okay." I precariously closed the heavy door behind me as if I moved too fast it would fall apart. "Listen, I can't have you here right now. I'm doing a lot of work." My immediate excitement of her visit quickly disappeared.

Her eyebrows knit together as she stepped towards once again. I tried to divert my eyes from her this time. "Okay, you're kinda freaking me out and I don't appreciate you just showing up and– " Lifting herself to her tippy toes, her index and thumb prying my eye open.

I immediately jerked back, "The fuck are you doing?"

"Austin are you fucking high?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, of course I'm not high." Though, my snail slow speech begged to differ.

"You're lying to me."

"I'm not."

"Your eyes are fucking red, you're high."

"I'm not fucking high, Elsie."

"Yes, you are, I know you like the back of my fucking hand Austin. You're high."

I hated seeing her like this, seeing her look at me like this. I knew she was concerned, angry even, but mostly it was sadness. That one was the dagger. It was part of package deal though, wasn't it? Addiction and disappointment. One and the same, you can't really have one without the other. It's an unfortunate byproduct but it was one I, at least, attempted to limit from her. I've tried being honest about my relapses before, but it only made things worse, complicated. It was the biggest fucking mistake because now under any slight suspicion she'd be up my ass, watching me like a hawk. The Nox sighting shit from last week was a mistake too, it was yet another thing I had to hide. Anything slightly strange I saw I had to assume it was just my head, even if it looked or felt real. The problem was that those lines were beginning to blur.