Desperado (Agent Severide Book 4)

Chapter 1

Jay's Apartment Chicago 

Zoey lay in bed curled up under the blankets in the dark room, Jay had left for work a few hours ago leaving her with her thoughts all morning. The blonde sighed looking at the ring on her finger trying to be happy about being engaged to the man of her dreams but yet all she could think about was wanting to rush over to see her brother and share the amazing news but she couldn't. 

They still weren't talking almost 3 weeks after their fight at Med, Zoey knew Kelly must've found her room empty by now and it hurt her slightly he didn't bother to call and check in or see how she'd been recovering. It was as if he just stopped caring just like Benny did. The blonde sighed pushing herself out of bed before throwing on Jay's black sweatpants along with a short sleeve crop top and a cardigan overtop. 

Zoey walked out of the room and into the kitchen noticing a bottle of tequila at the back of the counter tucked away. "Fuck it," she muttered picking up the bottle before starting to drink it straight. She didn't have to work for another couple of weeks, Jay was working and she finished her painkillers a few days ago so she could drink again without having a bad reaction from the combination. 

The blonde started playing music through a speaker on the counter playing anything and everything upbeat from 2000 to  2010 in her opinion. The sound of 'Carry On' by Fun. started playing through the device and Zoey instantly started taking chugs of the bottle as she started to sing the words. 

If you're lost and alone or you're sinking like a stone Carry on...

May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground.... Carry on...

Carry on..... Carry onnnn

Zoey sang and swayed around the room already halfway through the bottle of tequila before the song even finished. The blonde looked around the room after the song ended, she walked over to the door throwing her shoes on; took her phone and keys off the coffee table before walking out of the apartment locking the door behind her. 

Zoey walked out of the apartment still sipping on the bottle in her hand as she walked outside and just started walking and walking unsure of where she was going as she went continuing to sip on the nearly empty bottle. The blonde finished the bottle throwing the glass into a nearby garbage can before she walked into a convenience store to buy another bottle of tequila before she continued walking down the road. 

The blonde sighed pulling her phone out and looking at her lock screen that was a photo of Kelly and Zoey from her birthday a few months ago, Both siblings were clearly drunk in the photo. Without thinking she went into her contacts and went to call Kelly but paused. What would she even say? If he wanted to take he would have by now. 

Zoey sighed shoving her phone back in her pocket before cracking the cap of the bottle and taking a couple of swigs from the bottle as she stumbled down the sidewalk turning into a graveyard. The blonde walked through the rows and rows of stone before stopping and taking a seat next to one. 

"I'm sorry, I haven't come to see you in a while," Zoey said with a sigh looking at the stone in front of her that read 'In Loving Memory Of Leslie Elizabeth Shay' The blonde shook fighting the tears forming in her eyes along with the lump rising in her throat. "I got engaged," Zoey choked out as a tear fell from her eyes. "To Jay Halstead, he's incredible Shay. He makes me so happy, I just wish you were here Shay," Zoey said starting to sob now as she continued to drink. "Kelly and I got into a stupid fight and we haven't talked in almost a month," she said through tears as she chugged back the clear liquid almost finished the second bottle. 

Zoey sighed and lay on the grass next to Shay's stone as she stared up at the sky noticing the red, pink and purple hues of the sunset. She didn't mind though because she was talking to Shay whether she was there or not. Zoey sat there talking to Shay about everything on her mind including some of the cases she worked on and how she arrested Grissom, How she got pregnant with Jay's kid and how she lost their child and for a moment, a split second she felt better. 

That's before reality sank in and she realized she wasn't talking to anyone she was alone in a graveyard surrounded by darkness drinking. Zoey started crying again as she hugged her knees after finishing the bottle of tequila. "I miss you, Shay," the blonde cries softly before she wiped her tears and stumbles to her feel taking the empty bottle with her as she stumbled through the graveyard. 

Everything was spinning around her and Zoey couldn't feel half her face from the amount of alcohol in her blood. The blonde started walking down the street not sure where the hell she was or where she was going but at this point, she also didn't care. The blonde knew more than anyone that stumbling around a city nicknamed 'Murder city' at night while wasted alone was a really idiotic idea but Zoey was so wasted she didn't care. 

All Zoey wanted was her brother, the blonde sighed pulling out her phone and dialled Kelly's number. The line rang a few times before it was answered. "Hey Zoey," a voice said through the line. "Kells?" Zoey said hopefully as she stumbled across Shay's favourite bridge downtown over the river. "No, it's Matt. I can get Kelly for you though," Mat said through the line. "No, nope itsss okayyy," Zoey slurred her words as she kept walking even though everything was still spinning around her. "Are you okay Zoey?" Matt asked through the phone, "I'm greattt Mattty, I'll talkkkk to youuuu laterrr," Zoey said before hanging up the line and kept walking. 

Firehouse 51, Chicago 

Matt sat in his office confused for a moment after Zoey hung up, the blond lieutenant stood up and walked out of his office and over to Severide's office noticing his light was still on as he knocked quietly on the door trying not to wake up the rest of the firehouse. "Come in," Severide said as Casey walked in and shut the door behind him. "What's up Casey?" he asked from his desk, "Have you heard from Zoey?" he asked earning a look from Severide. "I'm not my sister's keeper Casey," he said flatly going back to the paperwork he was filling out. "Yeah I get that but she called me and sounded pretty drunk. I guess she thought she was calling you 'cause she called me Kell's; figured you'd wanna know" Casey said before he just walked out of Severide's office. 

Strange usually Kelly would go call Zoey or check on her if someone told him that. Today he seemed unbothered and cold towards even the subject of his little sister.