Nyctophilia|Game of Thrones

3.22

Some days passed and Joanna felt more at ease with her husband's passing. Of course, she wasn't okay nor was she happy, but she was at ease.

Currently, however, she stood atop the wall with Cerenna where she made sure she stayed close to her.

Jon was there as well but he just stared at Joanna. "I'm not staying," Joanna told the man softly as she looked out past the wall.

"What do you mean?" The man asked her in confusion.

"When my brother dies, Cerenna and I will ride to Kings Landing. I miss my family. I need my family." Joanna whispered

"What of Eddard and Lyanna? And Greywind and Ashter and Jeyne?" Jon asked still confused

"Jeyne and Ashter will stay here, that was their choice. They convinced me that Eddard and Lyanna would be safer here away from my mother. They tried to convince me with Cerenna but after I thought she died at the wedding, I refuse to let her out of my sight. I am not sure yet if Greywind will come or not. But Eddard and Lyanna... they are babies. They don't need to be anywhere near Kings Landing. Not yet. I'll have them brought soon after but not yet." Joanna explained looking over at him.

"I don't understand Joanna. You're willing to take Cerenna but not them?" He asked her

"I just told you. I can't. I lost Cerenna once. I am not doing that again! She goes where I go! Eddard and Lyanna will go soon, but I have to make sure it is safe! I don't want to leave them. They're my children. But I have to!" Joanna told the man with sad furrowed eyebrows.

"Fine. Do what you want. You're a queen. I can't stop you." Jon told her before walking away causing Joanna to scoff.

"Of course! Walk away! It is what you are good at!" Joanna scoffed causing him to stop walking and turn to face her.

"Good at? I wasn't wanted anywhere so I found a place where I was! I'm not walking away! I'm leaving an argument I know I won't win!" He shouted at her

"I wanted you!" She shouted back causing him to look at her in shock. "I wanted you and you didn't care! I would have begged King Robert to legitimize you and allow us to marry but all you wanted was to come here! So I found my love in Robb Stark! And I became happy!"

"Joanna..." Jon trailed

"You want to know why I can easily look at Cerenna but not the twins?" She asked in a shout. "Because when I look at them, I see Robb! And it breaks me! It kills me! But I look at Cerenna and I see the man who got the chance to love her. I see how Cerenna lost the one person she loved the most. Just as I did!"

Jon looked down at Cerenna whose eyes weren't dark brown but dark purple. "He loved her endlessly! He took her in. He cared that she was his family! His blood! His daughter! He loved and cared for her. He looked at her and saw his daughter! Only his daughter. Not an heir or a means to unite two warring families. " She continued as her voice grew quieter

Jon sighed heavily at her words. Joanna didn't just lose a husband that night. Cerenna lost a father. He knew Joanna was right.

It was easier for her to leave the twins behind for a few months but harder to leave Cerenna when they both needed each other the most.

He also knew that he could have very well had Joanna the way he wanted. They talked about it at Winterfell and he refused her. It was one of his biggest mistakes.

He knew she had spoken to her mother and asked her to convince the king. He knows Cersei Lannister had given Joanna her blessing to go after the man she truly loved.

"Your Grace," Jeynes voice spoke up causing Joanna to look at her. "A raven from kings landing. Your brother... King Joffrey... he's dead." The woman explained softly