SODA

Chapter 2: In Deep

Braxton has been sleeping in most days, probably to avoid contact with me; we haven't spoken since our little altercation at the office and only acknowledge each other when needed. "He can't be upset forever" I say with a sigh, I'm just going to let him have his space then he can approach me when he's ready. I began brewing his coffee and making my tea, while they're warming up I open the living room windows. The radiant sun blinded my eyes as I peered outside at our backyard, then around our empty house; all I could hear was my heartbeat. Although I wasn't alone, I felt awfully lonely.

I checked on our drinks and began to walk to the terrace. Before I made it to the door my unfamiliar reflection caught my eye. Taking slow steps observing all angles of my body, twisting left then right. I stare at my stomach in disbelief, as if reality finally hit me. 21 weeks! I repeat over and over in my head, I'm finally where I want to be. I kiss my hand and touch my stomach. 

"Good morning baby girl."

I walk out into the terrace rubbing my stomach, surveying the swing set Braxton set up a couple weeks ago. The setting where most of my scenarios take place, the place where we could be that happy family, even if it was just for a minute.

We are supposed to be happy.

I want my daughter to live in a happy environment with both of her parents; I don't want her growing up as I did. 

I began to get passionate.

I refuse to have her be at one house on the weekday then pack up all of her items and stay at another on the weekend.

I reflected on the promises I made to myself when I was younger and the ones I made when I found out I was pregnant. I promised myself that I was to be the best mother I could be. Everything I do would be for my child, I would try as hard as I could to give my child a better life than I had. Although my childhood wasn't cruel and challenging as most people who have gone down the same path as I have. There were a few mistakes my mother made as a parent and my father as person, and I was determined to not repeat those same mistakes. I would've continued swimming in my deep thoughts when I remembered a minor detail; I had left the drinks unattended.

"Oh crap, the drinks!" I shout as I waddled back inside.

Oh man, oh man, oh man, the smell of burnt coffee probably permeated throughout the house and woke Braxton up.   

I finally got to the kitchen only to find Braxton pouring himself a cup of coffee and my tea into my favorite mug.

He chuckled then turned around

I smiled a sweet smile, "Haha I guess you heard my feet shuffling across the floor?"

He looked me in the eye and hesitated. "Here," he said in a stern voice and held out my mug.

"I woke up a couple minutes ago and noticed you were standing out on the terrace. I didn't want to disturb you and so I helped myself."

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Uhm... yeah, I figured you should wake up to something nice."

"Thanks." He said without expressing any emotion, and walked back upstairs.

I could feel my chest beginning to get heavy and my eyes began to water. I let out a little pout and grabbed my tea as I dejectedly walked to the kitchen table. I pulled out a chair and stared into my tea, watching the little bubbles chase each other around my mug. He doesn't want to speak to me, you'd think that he'd be over it by now or at least open to the idea of him talking to me about it. But he isn't and things like this could tear apart a marriage. I was lost in my thoughts again, only this time I wasn't swimming; I was drowning.