The Magic School for the Utterly Hopeless (Completed/First Draft)

Chapter Two

As we continue down my street, children wearing their regal school uniforms emerge from their houses. Some have on pointy hats.

I want a pointy hat.

Full of pride, they look at me and snicker.

I slide down into my seat and cover my face with my bag.

Just so embarrassing. Why can't I be good at magic?

But the house we get to shortly after lifts my spirits.

I'm not trying to be selfish or anything, but thank goodness my best friend is as hopeless at magic as me. Seriously, I wouldn't know what to do if he wasn't coming along.

I watch the front door open and see his freckled face. With a big grin, he runs over and jumps on the carriage.

'Morning, Hank,' I say.

'Morning, Mikey.' He sits next to me.

'I gotta say, you are way too happy for where we're going.'

'Hey, it's a magic school. And that's all I care about.'

I wish I had that enthusiasm.

'I wonder who our teacher's going to be?' I ask him. 'Did anyone tell you who it is?'

'No, but hopefully it's someone who can make us better at magic.'

'Get off me, you stinking fly,' the driver abruptly shouts. He swats his hand in front of his face until he's out of breath.

Hank and I chuckle a little. It's funny.

'Did you watch wizarding wrestling last night?' I ask.

We're both huge fans. My bedroom is covered with posters of my favorite wrestlers.

'Slithering silly snakes, the fight between the Knight and Sorcerer Scare was so awesome.'

'I know right. The way the Knight jumped from the tower and did his fireball special move to win the match was the most incredible thing.'

'And when the Zapper backstabbed Professor Poof in the final tag team match by binding his legs with a charm. That was insane.'

'I know, right? I was completely shocked. I wonder why she did it? There must be a reason.'

'There's a rumor that Professor Poof was going to get rid of the Zapper and find another tag team partner.'

'Really?'

'Yep.'

'Well that would do it.'

I gotta say, I feel a lot better now. Talking wizarding wrestling with my best friend is awesome.

After more talk of last night's matches, we find ourselves pulling up to a shop. The Emporium of Rare Ingredients.

Is the driver really about to do some grocery shopping?

I take that back. We're just picking up another student.

A girl with long straight hair walks out. She gets on the carriage and sits as far away from us as possible.

'My name's Mikey and this is Hank,' I say.

Acting as though she hadn't heard, the girl looks away, blushing.

A little shy? Or embarrassed like me? Her name's Emily. I heard the driver say it.

Next we pick up another boy. He lives by the lord's castle and is a lot more talkative.

'I'm so happy I got into the school,' he says. His name's Penifry and has big floppy ears. He said to call him Peni. 'If I didn't, my dad was going to send me off to the Dragon Breeders Guild. I'm so scared of dragons. Even dragon pictures in books scare me.'

It wasn't hard getting into the Magic School for the Utterly Hopeless. To pass the entrance exam you had to make a feather levitate, but just moving it was deemed fine. It didn't matter if you moved it by a lot or by a little. An official from the city came round to my house to oversee it. My feather moved ever so slightly. And get this, Hank told me he cheated. He said he moved his feather by blowing out the side of his mouth. Just hilarious, right?

'My dad works for the lord of the city, you know,' continues Peni. 'What do your parents do?'

I tell him my parents and Hank's work together. They're monster ghost hunters. That's how Hank and I became best friends. I want to become a monster ghost hunter like them when I get older but my magic needs to improve A LOT.

'And what do your parents do?' Peni asks Emily.

She doesn't answer and blushes again.

A little later, the carriage stops in front of a yellow brick house. And we wait for what seems like forever when a robed and hooded figure pops out of a hedge nearby. It then scurries up to the carriage like some sort of deadly assassin on a dangerous mission.

'Are you Rachel Liggins?' the driver asks it.

'Yes,' it whispers back.

'In you get.'

The figure climbs up and plonks down on a seat, keeping the hood on. 'Can we go now, please?'

She's too embarrassed to be seen. I totally get it. Actually, I should have worn a hood. I'll wear one tomorrow. If I remember.

Now the next student stomps out of his home the instant we arrive. The tall boy waves away his parents' goodbyes and thunders over to the carriage.

Holy Moly, he's mad.

'Are you Eddy Mandor?'

'Of course I am,' the boy growls before getting on. 'Move it,' he then says to Peni. 'You're in my seat.'

'He was sitting there first,' I say.

'Yeah,' Hank adds. 'There are other seats, you know.'

'Nobody's talking to either of you pukes,' bellows Eddy.

Is he calling us pukes? His breath smells like puke. Really, this guy needs to brush his teeth with Stink-Be-Gone magical toothpaste. Did he eat a Chimera fart for breakfast or something?

Eddy makes a fist and snarls. 'Do you two want some knuckle sandwiches? Because I have some with your names right on them.'

If I was good at magic or the Knight, I'd stand up for myself, but as I'm neither, I don't. I have no desire to get punched the first day of school. No way.

'Do you want some knuckle sandwiches or what?'

I shake my head and so does Hank.

'Move it,' Eddy says again to Peni.

Peni scuttles over to another seat.

'All right,' says the driver, 'that's all the students. Time to go to school.'

I scrunch up my face and say, 'Wait. You can't be serious?'

'Aye. As serious as me being serious.'

Surely this isn't everyone. A school can't just have six students.

I then realize something.

'Is this everyone's first year?' I ask. I get nods in reply. 'What about last year's students? Aren't we picking them up?'

'No student has ever come back for a second year,' the driver answers, shooing away a fly again.

This school is getting lamer and lamer by the minute.

Suddenly, the driver whips out a wand and starts shooting spells everywhere. 'Take that, fly,' he yells. 'And that. And that.'

Blue, green and red flashes of light zip around the carriage. Me and the others drop to the floor in panic.

'Slithering silly snakes,' Hank bursts out.

This guy's insane. Seriously, what's wrong with him?

Luckily, nobody gets hit.