The Magic School for the Utterly Hopeless (Completed/First Draft)

Chapter Nine

From all sides, goblins flood in, banging swords and axes on their shields.

Sheesh. How many goblins are in the city right now? Seriously, this is just ridiculous.

With their beady little eyes on us, the goblins begin to chant. 'We's wobblin'. We's squabblin'. We's loves knockin' noggins.'

'Slithering silly snakes,' says Hank, 'this isn't good, guys.'

'My dad works for the lord of this city,' Peni suddenly yells. 'If you don't want to be arrested, be gone from this city and never return.'

Goblin laughter echoes all around. It's shrill.

Did Peni really think that would work? If I wasn't so scared, I'd probably laugh too.

'That was the most pathetic threat I've ever heard,' Eddy says to Peni. He then threatens the goblins himself, raising his fists and shouting, 'Come any closer, you little twerps, and I'll knock all of your noggins.'

There's more goblin laughter.

'What were you saying?' says Peni.

Eddy grunts. 'Shut up.'

'Can we cast spells now, Mr Nos?' stutters Emily.

Sounding annoyed after telling us we couldn't, he replies, 'Yes, you may.'

Absolute mayhem ensues next.

I don't know how many spells we cast but goblins fly, grow and, strangely, start puking everywhere.

Who knows what spell made them spew or who cast it but the street is soon covered with slimy green chunks.

Look at it. Talk about slipping and sliding.

What's surprising is that not one of us was hit by a spell. Could that be growth in our magic? I think it could.

Sadly, though, more and more goblins come. And they're closing in fast.

'I'm not impressed,' cries Rachel, as we huddle our backs together.

'We're done for,' says Emily.

'Yes, I agree,' says Mr Nos. 'We're doomed.'

Not something you want to hear from a teacher. And surely, this can't be it. This can't be the end of the story. Can it?

Of course not. Now that would be a lame story. Lame, lame, lame. As lame as the Magik Schol for the Uterly Hopless.

'I got it,' I say after realizing I have my bag on me. A bag filled with bottles of monster ghosts.

It's time to unleash a few.

I whip out three bottles and, with a groan, toss them into the goblin horde. They shatter and the ghosts of a jackag, a shalox and a dragordon spring out with a flurry.

They're so angry. So so angry.

Being cooped up in a bottle would do that. No question.

The monster ghosts then do their thing and begin mowing down the goblins.

With its rat-like teeth, the jackag slashes and chomps. The shalox and its countless long arms, legs and necks just whip at anything that moves. And shadowing them both, the dragordon's mallet of a tail smashes down as if it was playing a game of whak-a-goblin.

It's a beautiful sight.

Monster roars and goblin shrieks mingle loudly for some time until there's silence.

'Slithering silly snakes,' I finally say, looking around at the destruction. The street is littered with defeated goblins.

'Hey, that's my line,' whines Hank.

'Oh, right, yeah. Sorry about that.'

'Well that worked, didn't it?' huffs Mr Nos, as the monster ghosts disappear out of sight.

Beaming madly, Eddy says, 'That was awesome.'

Emily agrees. 'Indeed.'

'The Knight couldn't have done better, I'm sure,' says Hank.

'That's because wizarding wrestling is fake,' mumbles Rachel.

'What was that?'

Rachel shrugs. 'Nothing.'

'I can't believe we were going to release those at the Academy for the Gifted,' says Peni.

'Okay, maybe that wasn't such a good idea of mine.' I reply nervously.

'Ah, that's why you were at school tonight,' says Mr Nos. 'You were rendezvousing. I'm quite shocked. I wouldn't have thought you guys had it in you to get them back.'

I can hear Eddy's rage boiling. And before he does anything, I realize my house isn't far away. I take off.

'My parents.'