Mr. Princess

Negative (Epilogue 1)

Luis's POV

I sat bouncing my knee up and down on the toilet. What if it's negative again? I bit my thumb nail out of habit and couldn't wait I til I heard the familiar beeping of the timer. I never knew 3 minutes could feel this long. I took a deep breath and tried to quit my leg from bouncing but as soon as I calmed it it stared right back up when I heard the timer go off. I sat completely still scared to turn over the blue and white stick that sat only inches away from me. I stared at it not moving a muscle. Slowly I inched my hand forward. My whole arm seemed to shake as I picked it up. I can't do any more disappointment. I had been let down so many times and by the 5th time I stopped getting my hopes up. Then at the 15 mark I started to give up. I thought that maybe kids just weren't in the picture for us but it's all either of us could think about. Anytime we saw a cute little onesie at the store or parents walking around with the stroller we got all excited again. I'm not very religious but I prayed for a baby. I prayed that August and I would be able to have a family of our own. But negative after negative really put a downer on us especially me. I began to think, is it me? Am I reason that we can't have kids? Am I ruining Augusts dreams of being a dad? All those thoughts were pushed away when he told me "I don't need kids but I do need you." That put me in higher hopes but I still felt this ache. The ache of not being able to have the one thing that both I and August truly want.

I turned the stick over closing my eyes. I slowly peeked one eye open and looked down at the stick. I released the breath I had been holding as I read it. A single tear fell down my cheek. I threw the stupid things across the bathroom hitting the wall. I stared angrily at it laying on the ground. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself and went to pick it up. I looked at that negative sign just one more time to make sure. I read it clearly and became even more mad. I snapped it in half and threw the pieces into the trash can storming out of the bathroom slamming the door shut behind me. I stomped down the hallway and into the small living room where I decided that throwing pillows would make me feel a bit better. I chucked pillow after pillow at the wall trying to miss the pictures that hung near. Once I ran out of pillows I sat down with a huff on the couch. My anger slowly turned into sadness and tears fell down my face at a fast pace. I choked back sobs pulling my knees to my chest and resting my head on them. I sat there and cried silently for who knows how long. I didn't really care to be honest. That was the 18th negative. It's been 10 months of trying. Everywhere  we went the doctor said that both of us were in prime condition to have kids so why can't we? Why...

"Princess!" The front door shut loudly and his voice filled the house. I heard his steps trying to find where I was. As soon as he peeked his head around the corner his eyes widened. He took in the mess I had made then slowly came over to me. "Lu...what happened?" I lifted my head off my knees and looked at him. He crouched down in front of me and gave a a soft smile. His eyes were filled with concern but he somehow still gave me a smile. "It was negative. Again." He sighed and placed a hand on my cheek. "It's alright. We can try- " I cut him off. "I don't want to!" He only gave me a small nod. "Did you change your mind about kids?" He moved so he was sitting beside me. "That's not it. It's just...maybe we aren't meant to have them." He took my hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Lu, I don't think that's it. It just takes some people longer to have them." I glared at him. "What if we never have them?! What if I just can't get pregnant?! What if I can't do this one thing for you?!" I jumped up from the couch and began pacing back and forth. "Princess, if we don't have kids it's ok-" I stopped pacing. "No it's not! You want to be a dad so bad!" Tears began falling from my eyes again. "Do you want to be a mom?" I gave him a dumbfounded stare. "Of fucking course I do!" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Luis. If I don't have you then there is no point in having kids. I don't need kids to be happy. Would they be an amazing bonus? Yes." I slapped him playfully on the arm. "Don't talk like that."

I sat back down with a sigh and leaned my head down on his shoulder. "I just...I wish that I could give you a kid that you deserve." I could almost hear the eye roll. "I'm done with you talking down about yourself. If we end up having kids that's amazing and if we don't thats great too. Ok?" He gave me a kiss on the forehead as I nodded. "Good. Now, what should we have for dinner?" I shrugged as he stood up. He held out a hand for me to take. I quickly placed my smaller hand in his and was lead the to kitchen where we proceeded to make our dinner which consisted of chicken that August burnt and mashed potatoes that turned into a soup. In the end we had to order pizza because we both admitted we weren't going to eat the disaster we had created.

We laid together in our bed, in our room, in our house. He pushed up closely behind me wrapping is large arms tightly around me. I snuggled into him deeper as we both drifted off to sleep. Maybe we aren't meant to have kids. Maybe we will live here for the rest of our lives and grow old together. I smiled at the thought of old August still nagging me about useless things. Maybe we should get dog. I fell asleep completely unaware of what would be following in just a few short months.

—————————————————————————
Hello!!! So this is the first epilogue! There will a few more that follow and then the story will wrap up! Bye for now lovelies <3