Fight for You | JJK

27

The blinds in Jungkook's living room aren't as thick as the ones in his bedroom. Light seeps in then he immediately wakes up. But he doesn't mind; he hasn't minded the past few days that he's been sleeping on the floor mattress, the one he'd slept on with you.

Your fading scent brings back the memory of you being next to him that night; the untouched rice cakes remind him of the next afternoon's kisses; and your air dried sweater and the torn photo of him and Soo-ah in the trash are what tell him how badly he screwed up.

Things haven't been good with her for years. He realized too late that keeping her memory and keeping on with the agreement to go back was a desperate attempt for him to hold on to the only good things about his childhood, to try to prove himself to the first person he loved, to keep a promise he made because that had been the only thing he'd known, that he had going for him.

He tried to preserve the idea of Soo-ah when they were younger in his mind - fearless, thoughtful, strong, a dreamer.

But people change. He did, so did she. So did the love he once thought would be enough. He stopped being enough for her; time and distance do that. Or maybe he just never was.

He thought maybe she would call - which she never did - but he never expected her to come. Through his digging, he found out that the man she was with is moving away and isn't taking her with him.

But it doesn't matter now. She showed up. And now you're gone.

He'd never known pain like this. Not even bleeding out in an alley in your arms would rival. Because now, he's fully awake while his heart continues to throb at the thought of losing you, and his mind continues to bring him back to that day when he watched you cry in front of him, and he'd been too paralyzed to do anything.

Jungkook stares at the ceiling. He feels everything and nothing of you at the same time. And it hurts like hell.

**

"So let me run this down for you. You get shot trying to protect ___, she visits everyday to take care of you, you hook up, then your ex-girlfriend who's also your supposed future wife shows up asking when you're gonna come back to her. In front of ___. And you do nothing?" Jin states. "Geez, Kook. Way to woo the ladies."

Jungkook hits his friend with a boxing glove.

"Oh, let's not forget how you rejected ___ while you were her bodyguard because you didn't like her."

"Thanks, Jin. I feel very comforted," Jungkook scowls.

"Oh, is that what you were aiming for? To feel comforted? Because I'm not entirely sure how to do that."

"Ughhh," Jungkook growls, throwing the glove on the floor out of frustration, which he also couldn't use after his friend barred him from doing anything strenuous in the gym. "I'm an idiot and I don't deserve good things in this world."

The sight of Jungkook with his knees to his chest, head buried in his arms and tears starting to form in his eyes is a painful one for Jin. It took years for the younger man to even open up about his childhood and his reason for leaving home to try his luck in the big city.

Jungkook scared people because he was afraid of them, always quiet and observant and barely smiled, but Jin had been the only other lucky one to see his friend for who he really is - unwavering, strong-minded, caring, and had always yearned for a deep sense of love that he never experienced growing up.

The other person who's seen this is Soo-ah, but clearly, her idea of Jungkook changed as time passed and frankly - with the childhood she was deprived of - Jin can't completely fault her either.