lifeline | bl | jjk

11: closer

11: closer
Alt. Title: the only apple of his eyes

The night was still early.

The glass fragments were removed from his wounds and Shihori watched as Yuuta carefully wrapped the nurse's hand with gauze. Each movement had meticulous care behind it and it caused Shihori's heart to quiver. This obedient child was too good towards him.

Since when did Shihori deserve such care?

After what happened all those years ago, the belief that he did not deserve to be treated right engraved itself in his heart. To Shihori, he would gladly shoulder all the unluckiness in the world because he believed that he was not qualified to be loved and treated with care. He was a child born out of wedlock, out of immoral means.

His father? He was killed after getting caught up in a local gang's trouble. And his mother? She was diagnosed with clinical depression after that event.

For a moment, he had the same thoughts as Geto Suguru when he discovered the truth. Wouldn't the world be a better place if all that existed were sorcerers? The reason why his mother did not fight back was because she believed that it was her mission to protect the non-sorcerers.

If only she was hard-hearted, if only she wasn't benevolent to a fault, if only she grew up believing that sorcerers and non-sorcerers should be treated the same; would she have suffered until her dying breath? Would she have let that man's actions haunt her until the very end?

As a child, Shihori discovered that he wasn't loved. Although his mother cared for him, her eyes said it all.

He, Zenin Shihori, was nothing more than a chore in his mother's life. Yet he still took up her maiden surname after leaving the clan.

That was why he tolerated Satoru.

That was why he cared for the twins.

If he treated others like he wanted to be treated, would his existence mean much more than just a chore? Would he be able to find out why he was born instead of aborted? Would his existence mean something?

His gaze lingered on Yuuta's worried expression and something pulled on his heartstrings. There were many things he wanted to say to this youth who inexplicably became a part of his life. But the thousands of words he wanted to say vanished in an instant.

For this child to find out about his past, Shihori felt reluctant.

There were already a ton of things on Yuuta's plate and the nurse refused to add more to it.

Instead, Shihori lifted his uninjured hand and patted Yuuta on the top of his head. Surprise painted the youth's features, a soft smile settling on the nurse's lips.

"Thank you, Yuuta-kun."

It may seem like it was for dressing his wounds but only Shihori knew that there were many reasons for that simple thank you.

To Okkotsu Yuuta, Shihori's gentle expressions and sweet voice at that moment lit up the flame in his heart. He saw himself in Shihori's eyes. To be the only one in Shihori's gaze, to be the only one he could see at that moment; it exhilarated Yuuta.

This feeling of being the sole person in Shihori's eyes tickled Yuuta's heart. It was something he was growing addicted to, a sensation he had come to yearn. If this keeps up, Yuuta wouldn't be able to wake up every morning without seeing himself in Shihori's eyes.

Holding this bandaged hand as if it was an ancient relic, touches so fleeting because Yuuta was afraid of hurting Shihori. The youth brought his lips close until they briefly kissed the palm of Shihori's hand. In his knelt down position, Yuuta raised his gaze, lashes casting shadows over his eyes, as he stared into the nurse's eyes.