Gym Class Sorrow [Book 2]

There's More Than Distance Between Us

Jesse's P.O.V.

Four years. That's how long I've been gone. I followed Emma into the light and never looked back. My pain ended the day I left the earthly world behind. I couldn't deal with the PTSD my accident caused, knowing I killed two people. Emma died on impact with my car and Talia never woke up from her coma. I do regret one other small thing though. Well actually it's not so small.

I regret Chris. I regret leaving him. If loving him was pain, leaving him was torture. I thought I did the right thing when I died, but as I watch over him today...I'm no longer sure I did. He's changed. He's no longer the innocent man that once loved me. The man that stayed awake until three a.m. talking about our future or who brought home my favorite foods when I was feeling sad.

That scares me.

He was so kind. So loving. Now it's just bitterness and contempt do everything having to do with the L-word. I can see that he's hurting because of my death, but he doesn't need to take it out on that young man that holds only admiration in his eyes.

Though I have to admit...I don't really like that young man either. Nothing against him as a person. He's actually a great person, volunteers at an animal shelter, helps elderly people and works at a soup kitchen, but he's also messing around with Chris.My Chris.

I suppose I gave up the right to call him mine when I drove off the side of a fucking cliff though. Stupid.

But anyway, Chris is too bitter. He's not the Chris I fell in love with. Even Richard agrees with me(though he doesn't know it). I guess I shouldn't complain too much though. I did kill myself after hanging up on him. I can only imagine what that felt like. I have to ask myself:Why only Chris though? Why not Richard? I mean sure Chris and I were together, but Richard and I were friends. He turned out just fine. He's married to a wonderful man.

If only I could see Chris again. If only I could get a second chance. Emma and I have stayed together in this weird little thing called the afterlife. She says that second chances don't happen often and I do ever get one I can't mess it up because there's no such thing as a third chance.

I don't really want to leave yet though because we still haven't found Talia. I promised Emma before I ever even hope for a second chance that I would reunite her with her mom. I intend to so that.

Someday, I know Chris and I will meet again. For now though, I have to look on and watch as the man I know becomes the man I knew, there is more than distance between that man and the one I see now.

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